It was the crash of my heart.
I tried to sit up,
Picking the pieces up.
I was tired
All I wanted to do was give up.
I screamed
It was silent
No one cared
Nobody listened.
I grit my teeth.
The pain in the words shakes me.
Lifting my head, I meet her gaze. Her eyes are vulnerable, open, and begging for help. I know the pain, and I know my pain was the start of my writing, and it's now the fuel of it. I frown. Evangeline Faye is more than what meets the eyes. And it just makes her more fascinating. It just grows the need in me to get to know her. And that can only mean one thing: Trouble.
I knew there was a connection between us beyond physical when I saw her alone in that bar with a cupcake for company. But now, after reading her words something shatters inside me.
I want to hug her. I want to stroke her hair and kiss her until every ounce of pain she feels leaves her. But I can’t do that.
My hands turn to fists as I put on an internal fight between what I want to do and what’s right.
I panic as she continues looking at me expectantly.
So, without breaking eye contact, I crumble the page and throw it into the basket next to my desk. The disappointment and pain in her gaze are sharp as a knife. I curse myself, and I know that's not the right thing to do. Even though making her hate me would make things easier, the moment I see hurt in her eyes, I want to fall on my knees and apologize.
I already know I’ll grab that paper from the trashcan before leaving this class.
Those words…
Fuck.
I take a slow, deep breath. What this girl makes me feel is ridiculously intense. I can't even wrap my mind around it, but it's there. Putting my ribcage
in a wire, I can't shake off.
We're like in that song, fire, and gasoline, one wrong move, one small step that will get us closer would cause an explosion. An explosion that will make her life worse. A damage that won't be fixed. This is a small town, us getting close would only mean a big scandal and the fact that I'm a temporary teacher won't mean shit. I’m a teacher, and she's a student.
If she hates me, she will stay away from me.
And that's for the best until I leave. Staying away from her and the delirious temptation she creates just by breathing.
But even as I try to convince myself, I can feel the pull between us and I know staying away won’t be easy.
6
Eva
What was I thinking?
What was I fucking expecting?