My jaw hardened. Never again.
When I woke, I didn’t need time to remember. It had been plaguing me while I slept. They killed Thomas and took my sister. It was like Mallory all over again, but this time I knew my sister was in danger from the start. I had only realized the true danger of Ben when it was almost too late.
And Thomas…
I squeezed my eyes shut. Someone else was gone because of me. Someone who was a friend. Feeling the threat of tears, I bit down on my lip. I couldn’t feel it, not now so I rolled to my back. Carter was perched on the edge of the bed and watching me. He wore a black sweatshirt and black pants. His dark blond hair seemed darker, and I realized it was wet. As I sat up, I saw the concern in his wolf-like eyes. A shiver wound its way through me as I held his gaze. He must have known what had happened to me, what had happened to my sister. But there was no reason to go into hysterics. It was what it was.
Thomas was dead. My sister was gone.
I’d feel later. I welcomed the physical pain and I had plenty of that. My body was sore. It was still hurting from the bomb, and now it had new aches and pains from last night.
I didn’t care.
I needed Carter. I needed to remember we were alive. It was the two of us. I couldn’t lose him, no matter what happened.
I cupped the back of his neck and pulled him close.
“Emma?”
I shook my head. No words. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to feel the pain, not yet. I wanted to feel him. I wanted to feel love instead. I wanted to taste. I wanted to be alive. As if sensing my unspoken need, his eyes darkened, and he lifted me up to straddle him.
I closed my eyes and held the man I loved. Resting my forehead to his, I placed my arms on his shoulders as he held my hips. His thumbs rubbed back and forth. This. Right here. He was the most powerful man I knew, and he was all mine.
I had what so many women wanted. They were drawn to him because he was powerful and deadly. It wasn’t a mirage. He was dangerous, and that same shiver took hold of my spine and burrowed deep, melded with me at a cellular level. It was the good shiver, the delicious kind.
I leaned back, tipping us down
to the bed, and I wound my legs around his waist, pulling him down between my legs.
Dangerous. Yes. Carter was dangerous. I raked a hand up his arm, curled it around his chin, and pulled him down to me. But he was my danger. He was my protector. And he was mine to protect.
“Are you su—”
I fused my lips with his. A tingle raced through me. I wanted to keep feeling sensations like this, not the other stuff. And as Carter rolled me beneath him, he helped me forget. For a little while he made me feel only him.
Afterwards, much, much afterwards, Carter slid out of me and moved to his side. He kept one hand on my stomach. “Are you sore?”
“Don’t.” I rolled to my side to face him and shook my head.
“Don’t what?”
“Regret this. Yes, my body is hurting, but it’s because of the bomb, because of the assault on the car. That’s from them. They inflicted that on me, and I won’t let them have power over me anymore.” I ran a hand up his arm. He was so strong, his veins corded under his skin. “I won’t let them take this away from me.”
His face softened, and he tipped my chin up. “I love you.”
“Always,” I replied, and my eyelids lowered as he bent closer, his lips grazing over mine. It was the gentlest of kisses.
He whispered against my lips. “I’m sorry about your sister.”
“Me, too.”
Pulling back, he let out a soft sigh. “I’ll find her, Emma. This isn’t like your roommate. We’ll get her back. She’ll be safe. I’m not as entangled with politics as I was then. I don’t have to wait this time. Last time everything had to be discussed and approved. This time, I’m out. I can do whatever I want, but I know Cole will back me. The elders will, too.”
“Why did they take her?”
“Besides the obvious?” His thumb brushed over my forehead in a tender motion.
“They think she’s me.”