There was no name on Mallory’s headstone. She had no family.
Ben was listed as her emergency contact so she was never identified officially. I was taken to the morgue after hours one time and saw that it really was her. I knew it was, but Carter wanted me to make sure. Amanda hadn’t wanted to come.
We never talked about Mallory, not at first. After Amanda moved in with Theresa, it was another three months before her name was brought up. We started a new tradition for the three of us. We spent every Friday night at their apartment. It was spent talking, laughing, and drinking wine. Lots and lots of wine. A pizza was usually ordered as well. The nights were meant for only light conversations, but that night Amanda asked if we could have our own memorial for Mallory and the baby.
She started crying after that.
By the end of the night, all three of us had each used a box of Kleenex. I was a mess when I slipped into bed with Carter that night, but I relayed what Amanda had asked and explained that the rest of the night was spent sharing Mallory stories. We even talked about how pathetic we thought Ben was. Carter shook his head, kissed my forehead, and pulled me over him. He liked to sleep with me on top of him. He ran his hand up and down my back. It was only later that I realized that he didn’t sleep. He held me. Carter didn’t need much sleep. The first time I noticed, I woke to him pacing in the room. He was a caged tiger.
When I felt tension in his body, I slept naked and on top of him. It soothed him for some reason.
Over the next couple months, the three of us formed a tight bond. Besides the Friday Wine Nights, there were many others spent at Octave. Noah came some of those times, though he was annoyed most of the time. Brianna continued to work at the nightclub, and she still didn’t approve of a romantic relationship between Noah and Theresa. That pissed Theresa off.
I asked Amanda one time about the cop she was going to date, and she looked at me like my head exploded. “Are you kidding me? After what we did?”
I never pointed out that she technically didn’t do anything, but a part of me was glad she considered herself part of it. It made the guilt fade a little. Killing Ben never made me lose sleep, but I still had nightmares about Mallory. No matter what Carter tried to get me to think, I would never be rid of that guilt. It had been my job to protect her. I had failed. I had avenged her, but I had failed her. I had failed her child as well.
However, I was learning to live with that guilt.
It was the only point of contention between Carter and me.
Theresa and Amanda had each other. Theresa sort of had Noah, but Carter and I had become a team together. We grew so close that we didn’t need to speak half of the time. We knew what each other thought.
This night was one of those nights.
We were at Octave, in Carter’s private office with his patio dance floor. Amanda and Theresa were dancing together while Noah was discussing our latest business venture from The Richmond. I stopped listening to him and glanced over at the door. He was there. The hunger started again. I had grown used to that as well.
Noah stopped talking and grinned. “I know that look.”
His eyes found mine immediately, a slow smile growing as he closed the distance between us. They darkened, full of promises, as he murmured, “Hey there.”
“Hi.”
He grinned and took my elbow. He moved so that he was leaning against the counter. My back was against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. He tucked me close, between his legs. Then he turned to Noah. “Are we sparring tomorrow again?”
Noah shook his head. “You two.”
Carter laughed, his voice low smooth against my ear. “I believe your other half is just on the other side of those doors if you choose.”
He groaned, “Don’t get her started. Brianna’s on tonight. I don’t need another lecture.”
“It’s like that?”
“It’s like that.” Noah looked to the dance floor. His tone lowered, “I’m going to need a full hour in the gym tomorrow, if you’re game.”
“I’m game.” Carter pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. “But it might be worth taking what you want before someone else does.”
“Not you too. That’s all Theresa harps on me now. ‘I got asked out for a date today.’ ‘I’m going to dinner with so and so.’ Oh, and then my favorite, ‘One day I’m going to get sick of waiting, and you’ll regret that day ever happened, Noah John Tomlinson.’“ He pretended to hit himself in the forehead. “Believe me, I am aware my chances are dwindling each day.”
I turned, unable to help myself. “So why don’t you? She loves you.”
My boss went still at my words. Then he choked out, “She does?”
I snorted in disgust. “She wouldn’t be waiting for you if she didn’t. Forget your sister, Noah. You get that love once in a lifetime, if you’re lucky.”
He didn’t wait another second. He put his glass down and went on the dance floor. Amanda danced by herself for the rest of the night.
Carter tightened his arms around me and kissed the back of my ear. He caught my lobe in his teeth, sweeping his tongue against it, as he murmured, “Once in a lifetime, huh?”