Then she opens her eyes and offers a sleepy smile. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“How long was I out for?”
“Only around four hours or so. I expected you to sleep a lot longer than that.”
“I probably would have if my bladder wasn’t about to burst.” I step aside so she can get past me, walking around the bed on my way to the dresser.
Something stops me. Instead of getting dressed, I pick up the pillow Aspen slept on, still warm and smelling of her shampoo. I lift it to my nose, my eyes closing so I can focus solely on her scent. I inhale as much air as my lungs will hold, willing myself to commit every part of her to memory.
When she opens the door, I'm still standing with the pillow in my hands. Our eyes meet, and whatever she sees in mine makes her sigh. “I have to go, don’t I?”
I want more than anything in the world to tell her no, that we’ll get through this together and to hell with the rest of the world. But I can’t ignore the obvious. For her sake or mine. “I’m afraid so.”
Her chin quivers, and she may as well take a knife to my heart for all the pain it brings me. “I don’t want to be alone,” she whispers.
“You know I’m always here. You can call me, text.” That clearly offers no comfort, and I can’t blame her. I lower the pillow to the bed and reach for her. “It’s for the best.”
Instead of walking into my arms, she stays where she is. “Would you please explain why it’s so important we stay away from each other? And don’t give me any more of that pushing me away bullshit like you did before. I’m not buying it. Why is it so important nobody sees us together? If everybody knows they’re not allowed to screw with me anymore, what’s the harm? They already know you are protecting me.”
I drop to the bed, leaning forward to lower my head into my hands. She was always going to want to know. She deserves to know. “Do you think this is easy? Pushing you away? Haven’t I proven to you what you mean to me? I would burn the world down for you.”
“But you won’t walk down the hall with me.”
“I can’t have anybody know we’re linked.” When she responds with silence, I add, “Especially after what I did to Matteo’s family. That isn’t what gets glossed over. You should know by now how deep a grudge can run.”
The shifting of the bedsprings tells me she takes a seat at my side. “Nobody knows you did that.”
“Here’s hoping.” I lift my head to find her looking distressed. “Truthfully, I can’t say for sure. There is a chance of someone putting things together. Finding out what happened to you and connecting that to the family's demise. All it takes is one asshole who thinks they’re smart seeing the two of us together and adding things up for you to be in worse danger than ever.”
She closes her eyes, her mouth falling open. “Because they’ll know you did it for me.”
“Exactly. And it’s not only you. What would happen to my mom? To Scarlet? I have to keep them in mind, as well.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I didn’t want you blaming yourself.” It looks like she’s going to protest, and I shake my head before she can get a word out. “Don’t say you wouldn’t. We both know that would be a lie.”
She takes my hand, squeezing tight. “Okay. We’ll do it this way. I’ll stay away from you, and you’ll stay away from me. For everybody’s sake.”
“You have no idea how it burns me up inside, knowing I have to leave you alone.”
“Now that I understand why, it will be easier to manage. Not knowing why you pushed me away was worse than anything else.” The brave little smile she wears nearly rips me in half. How can she be brave after everything she’s suffered?
I reach for her with my free hand, burying it in her hair and drawing her face close to mine. We look into each other’s eyes for an instant before our lips meet in a long, slow kiss. My whole body ignites, urging me for more. My chest aches, knowing it has to stay with a kiss.
If my enemies have their way, it will be our last.
I have no intention of letting that happen.
At first, when I hear the insistent knocking on my door, I think Aspen must have come back. I was about to turn in for the night, and now I wonder if she’s too afraid to sleep alone in her room. On one hand, the fact she would come to me is gratifying. She knows she’s safe with me. I want nothing more than to be her comfort and protection.