“I’m not stronger…” At least I don’t feel like it. “My bullshit meter just runs on low.”
I’m still not happy about being moved again, but I guess that’s better than living in a janitor’s closet like I used to.
I follow Lucas into the underground tunnel leading to the dorms. When we get to the elevator, he pushes the level B button. I didn’t even know there were student rooms on that level.
“I thought B was for staff only?”
“It is. You’ll be the exception.”
“Why are you moving me there?”
“We agreed it will be safer for you to be away from the other students.”
“We? You mean Xander? Is he the reason Quinton is acting this way? Is Xander trying to keep us apart?” Of course, he is. I was so wrapped up in my pain that I didn’t see the obvious. Quinton loves me; he wouldn’t do something like this without being told to.
“Quinton was the one who called me and asked that you be moved. I agreed with him, knowing after everything that happened, it would be best for you.”
“Best for who?” I mumble the question just as the elevator doors open. We step out into the hallway on a new floor, where I’ve never been before. Everything looks mostly the same. Except the doors are farther apart, indicating that the living quarters are larger than on the student floor.
“Brittney hasn’t returned from winter break, but her place is this door.” He points at the door we pass. “Yours is next to hers.” Under any other circumstances, that would make me happy, but today, I can’t muster up a single ounce of happiness.
We stop in front of what I assume to be my new room, and Lucas pulls a key card from his pocket. He slides it through the lock, disengaging it with a low beep.
He pushes the door open and pulls my suitcase inside. I follow him and quickly scan the inside of my new home. It’s surprisingly large, an open space floorplan with a living room and kitchen combo.
“The bedroom and bathroom are through here. The kitchen is fully stocked with food, but if you need anything else, you can let me know, and I’ll have it delivered to your room.”
“You don’t want me to go to the cafeteria?”
“I’d rather you stay here.”
“You know I still have to go to classes, right?”
Lucas cringes, or at least it looks like a cringe. “Actually… you don’t.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You will have classes, but not with the rest of the students. You will have private classes with me, Brittney, and Dr. Lauren.”
My face deadpans. I don’t even know what to say to that.
“I’ll give you an extra week to recover. You’ll start your classes next Monday.”
“I guess.” I fold my arms in front of my chest.
“Unpack, relax, and let your body heal.”
“It’s not my body I’m worried about,” I say out loud before I can stop myself. “Never mind.”
“You are stronger than you think,” he says, and I wonder if he and Xander have rehearsed together since he used the same words. “It might not seem like it today, but you are.”
“I’m still going to the library and the sunroom. I can’t spend all my time in this apartment.”
“Agreed. Also, you’ll meet Dr. Lauren for classes at the lab, and classes with me will be either at my office or at the gym. I’ll come up with a schedule for you. Email me if you need anything.”
Lucas exits my room, leaving me alone in this new room with a suitcase full of stuff that isn’t even mine.
A few months ago, I would’ve killed for this arrangement, but now I just want to go back to how things were before.
I want to go back to drinking weird-tasting protein shakes in the cafeteria, dodging students in the hallways, and sitting in the back of the class to avoid my teacher’s wrath. I want all of that just so I can feel the tiniest bit of normal again.
But I guess that’s the hardest part about all of this.
Nothing is ever going to be like it was before.
10
QUINTON
Leaving North Woods after the winter break felt like both a relief and a burden. Relief that I’m back at Corium and closer to Aspen, yet a burden because I had to leave my family behind. Now I only have Ren and the daily updates Lucas gives me on Aspen.
I haven’t installed cameras in her new room, mostly because I’m scared of seeing her. Being scared is something I’ve experienced few times in my life, but I can’t help feeling it now. I’m scared of seeing her hurt, unable to go to her and calm her. I’m scared of seeing her happy, seeing her move on without me. I’m scared she’ll forget what we shared… forget about me.
According to Lucas, she’s been adjusting well, everything considered. It’s me who can’t get a fucking grip. The only thing keeping me sane is knowing that Aspen is safe.