“Maybe a little.” He nuzzles my temple. “I’m sorry things got out of hand. Azazel might be a bit of a prick, but he wasn’t wrong.”
“Sol.” I sigh. “I was there, too. I didn’t tell you to stop.” I take a quick swallow of the near-scalding tea. “I got off harder knowing we shouldn’t be doing it. It took two of us to get into that mess. Please stop trying to shoulder all the responsibility.”
He tenses like he wants to argue but finally hisses a bit. “It won’t happen again. I promise.”
It’s so tempting to read into that for the worst possible explanation—that he doesn’t want me to stay—but that interpretation doesn’t make sense. If Sol didn’t want me here, he wouldn’t have chased me all the way into a different territory. He wouldn’t be worried about harming me at all.
Communication isn’t easy. I’ve never had to be particularly good at it, other than reading the room to anticipate and respond to the undercurrents. This is different. This isn’t about protecting myself. This is about what my heart wants…if I’m courageous enough to reach out and take it.
I swallow hard. “It’s only been a month.”
“I know.”
“I’m still working through so much. I might spend the rest of my life working through it. I’m a mess.”
His arm tightens around me the finest bit. “You’re not a mess, Briar. You’re a survivor.”
A survivor. I never understood how powerful that term could be until now. Not a victim. Not broken. A little banged up and a little fragile, but a survivor, nonetheless. I lean forward to set down the mug and twist to face him. From the beginning, Sol has taken his cues from me. Even when he’s hissing and pressing me on certain subjects, he always responds to my mood and comfort level.
I want to give him the same gift.
I clear my throat. “I know you want a child.”
“Not if it means I lose you.” He shakes his head sharply. “I’ll find another way to help my people. You’re not a pawn, Briar. I’m sorry I saw you as one to begin with.”
“Sol.” I glare. “Will you let me finish?”
He has the grace to look sheepish, his head bowed and shoulders hunched. “Of course. Please continue.”
It would be so much easier to just let him lead. But if I truly want this, then I can’t take a back seat for the entirety of the future. I don’t want that. “I…” God, why is this so hard? “I love you, Sol. I don’t know what the future will bring, but there’s nothing for me in the human realm. If you want…If you’re interested…”
“I love you, too.” He presses a claw to my chin, lifting my face to his. “Stay with me, Briar. Forever.”
I go dizzy at the sensation like my heart is expanding until it’s too big for my chest. “Truly?”
“Truly.” He presses his forehead to mine. “And if you never want children, that’s—”
“I do,” I blurt. “Not yet. I need to work through some things before I’m willing to bring a life into this world. And, well, I’d like to enjoy some more time with only you. But I do want children eventually.”
Sol exhales slowly. “Then, when you’re ready, we’ll figure that out. Together.”
Together.
“Okay,” I say slowly. I wait for him to retreat enough that I can once again see his face. “But what about this mating frenzy? We can’t spend the rest of our lives locked up in here away from everyone else.”
Sol drags a hand over his head. “It will ease. Truthfully, under normal circumstances, it would have already done so. I… I think that knowing you want to stay will help. Before, every second passing felt like grains of sand slipping through my fingers. I didn’t want to share that precious time with anyone.” His crest rises and falls. “Give me a week, and we’ll see where we’re at.”
Progress. I’m sure dragons are as varied as humans are, so there will be bumps along the way. Regardless of how common humans might have been in the various territories in the past, they aren’t common now. “Will they accept me? I don’t know if I’m qualified to be a co-leader, but I want to be a full partner to you, no matter what that looks like. Maybe I can work with Aldis and help with the paperwork.”
“She would love that. I would love that.” Sol, being Sol, doesn’t give me a pat answer. He gives me an honest one. “Some of my people won’t accept you. There are a small number who firmly believe we never should have bred with humans, but those dragons tend to keep to themselves and prefer their own company. They don’t come to the keep often, if at all.” He shrugs. “The rest fall on a spectrum of personal and political beliefs. Some will try to get close to you in order to bend me to their agenda. Some will be curious. Some might react in ways we can’t anticipate.” He narrows his attention on me. “Does that bother you?”