“I guess you didn’t pick the best position for this talk, huh?”
He laughs. “You make me laugh more than anyone in my life, Piper.”
“Who is anyone? Sorry to change the subject, but all of this is still so new.”
“I will tell you. But you have to promise to explain what you meant when you said you don’t know if you’re ready.”
I kiss his cheek, savoring the intimate moment. “I promise.”
He shrugs. “I’ve got a buddy, Joe, I’ve known him since we were teenagers. We met at the boxing gym. We used to meet up a few times a month, sometimes a few times a week, but he has a wife and kids now. Then there are my law and cop buddies. I’ve got an uncle on the West Coast. We talk on Skype sometimes. But, honestly, mostly I keep to myself… at least until you came along.”
“Aren’t you close with anyone?” I ask.
He rests his forehead against mine. “If you want the sad truth, you’re the person I’m closest with, Piper. I feel like I know you better after just a few days than the people I’ve known for years.”
“There’s nothing sad about that,” I say, wrapping my arms around him even harder. “Or, if there is, I’m sad too. I feel exactly the same.”
A distant part of me wonders if that’s a lie.
Do I really feel exactly the same?
If I were to unload it all now, all the confusing need and desire and the idea that destiny is pulling us together, would he still hold me in his arms?
“Your turn,” he says, smirking.
I sigh. “I’m not saying I don’t want… you know, that.”
He chuckles. “Sex. You can say it.”
“I want it,” I go on, giving him my so-called sassy bratty look. “But I’m a little nervous. Sort of how the Grand Canyon is a little big. The thing is, Pearce, well… I’ve never done anything with a man before. What we did last night, was my first sexual experience. With anybody.”
“Okay…”
I huff, throwing my hands up, staring up at him with what I hope is a duh expression. “What if you don’t, you know…”
He opens his mouth to speak, but then it finally hits him. “Oh.”
“Oh,” I repeat, smiling shakily.
“What if I don’t...”
“Fit,” I blurt out. “Okay? There it is. I saw how huge you are. I saw how massive. What if we try, and it just doesn’t work? Has that ever happened to you before?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want to talk about before. There is no before where you’re concerned.”
“Is that a no?” I ask.
He leans forward, brushing his lips against mine. “Let’s go on a date, a proper date.”
“I feel like you’re dodging the question…”
“If you want me to answer specific questions, I will. But I know I’d hate thinking about you with another man. I don’t want you thinking about me with anyone else either.”
I look into his eyes, reading the emotion there. He doesn’t want to disrespect me by talking about other women.
Can I really resent him for that?
But I would like an answer to my question.
Has he ever been too big to fit in a woman?
It seems like such an ugly sentiment when I phrase it like that in my mind.
And, when I think about it, I see he’s right.
I feel like I’m being torn to pieces even thinking of him with another woman.
“A date instead of sex, hmm?” I say, giggling, deciding to let the matter drop for now.
“Until you’re ready,” he growls.
“What if I’m not? What if I can’t get over this feeling?”
Bones whines from the corner of the room, as though sensing my emotions. We both turn to him, studying the little man with his mouth open and his grin telling us we can face anything. We can do anything, as long as we’re together.
“Then one day I’ll throw you down on the bed and show you how goddamn sexy you are. Your body will take over. You won’t be able to stop. And neither will I.”
I wait for him to add the impossible, how he’s going to fuck me until he explodes inside of me, until his seed seeks out my womb, until our lives are fused forever.
“What about a date?” he asks.
I gesture at Bones, watching us curiously from the corner. “He’ll freak out if we both leave him.”
“Then we’ll find a dog-friendly restaurant,” Pearce says simply. “They’re becoming more popular these days. I’ll get to dress you up in the sexiest, most mouth-watering outfit…”
I shift against him again, unable to help myself, his manhood grinding against my most tender and receptive parts.
“I’ll wear whatever you want, whatever makes you… excited.”
“You make me excited,” he growls. “No matter what you’re wearing. And, on second thoughts, I’m not sure I want anybody else looking at you. I might get jealous and break somebody’s nose.”