I know there’s something between us, something more than hate.
Something that feels so damn good.
And yet he denies it. Every time we get close, he finds a reason to shove me away.
Or I find a reason to screw it up.
I guess I’m not innocent in all this.
And now that I know for sure that he’s my only hope, I can’t bring myself to talk to him.
I need to. I have to.
But I won’t.
I’ve humiliated myself enough already. I’ve debased myself and begged and pleaded, and none of it worked.
I do nothing and it’s torture.
It’s like standing on top of a land mine knowing, knowing it’s going to explode, but having no idea when.
Any second, it could burst and my life could end.
In some ways, it’s nice. The anxiety of not knowing when Papa will send me away sharpens what time I have left. I spend it with Gavino and Fynn, and even Elise doesn’t annoy me as much. I still go to work, and it doesn’t drive me insane when Dave calls me shoe girl over and over. I could quit my job since I only took it to prove to Nico that I’m not a totally spoiled, useless princess, but I like having a little bit of independence.
It enrages me to realize Nico was right about that.
But whatever. I’m weirdly happy, despite the low levels of anxiety that gnaw at my brain. Any second now, Papa’s going to ship me away.
Any second and I’ll be the wife of some strange Russian in Dallas.
The sun feels good on my skin. Elise is quiet for once as she scrolls through her phone and I watch the water lap at the edge of the pool. I’m still slightly damp from swimming ten minutes ago and the slight breeze feels good as it caresses over my wet body. I stretch and force myself to focus on the moment—to stop worrying about what I can’t control.
“I’m getting something to drink,” I say lazily. “Want anything?”
“No thanks,” Elise says and smiles at me over her sunglasses. “You know, I’ve really liked having you around the last few days.”
I frown at her. “Was that a compliment?”
“Don’t get used to it, bitch.” She goes back to looking at her phone. “On second thought, I’d love a smoothie. Something green, but not gross.”
I roll my eyes and head inside, my towel wrapped around my middle. It’s quiet and the air conditioning prickles my skin as I move from the hot outside to the freezing interior and I hurry toward the kitchen.
On the way, I pass by the rec room and something makes me pause.
The door’s open and someone’s inside.
I step forward cautiously. At first, I think it’s Casso, but my throat nearly closes when Nico turns to look at me.
“Don’t,” he says as I start to turn away. I freeze and look at him like an escaped convict eyeing the prison warden. “Get in here.”
I hesitate. I would rather go make Elise’s green smoothie. I’d much prefer listening to her complain about it for ten minutes than deal with Nico right now.
But what the hell. I’m a dead girl walking, right? I might as well say my goodbyes to this bastard as well.
I step into the rec room. Nico’s alone at the bar with a drink at his elbow and a folder with glossy photos. I nod at them, frowning.
“What’s that?”
“Shipment got jacked a few days ago by a group of Somali gangsters. This is all that’s left of our guards.”
I catch a glimpse of blood on a sidewalk as he shoves them into a folder and turns to face me.
He looks good. I hate to admit it, but he does. Square jaw, honey-brown eyes, and those tattoos. His body bristles beneath his button-down shirt, and his jacket’s tossed on the pool table nearby. His sleeves are rolled to his elbows and I love the way his forearms flex.
“What do you want, Nico?”
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
I shake my head. “Not at all. Why would you think that?”
“Because you know I broke Alfonse’s face and told him to stay the fuck away from you.”
I go very still and my mouth drops open.
He stands and walks past me. His shoulder brushes mine and I feel a chill run down my spine, half fear, and half excitement. He closes the rec room door and turns the lock with an audible click.
I should get the hell out of here.
“Did you really?” I ask quietly. I heard the rumors. I suspected it was Nico, but I didn’t want to believe it.
He seems surprised. “Your brother knew. I figured you did too.”
“I wasn’t sure. I didn’t think you’d give a shit.”
“Well, now you know. It felt good, if I’m honest.”
“Why would you do that?”
“To keep him away from you.”
“God, you’re infuriating.” I glare pure loathing hate at him as my hands curl into fists. “You tried to sabotage me.”