She can’t possibly know how close she’d come to ruin.
There’s still a part of me that wants to go back to that house and say yes. It’s a voice in the back of my skull that screams at me, the same voice that shouts back from the mirror each time I look into my eyes, you’re not enough, you were never enough, and I hate that voice with a passion.
It wants me to use her.
I can see why—marrying Karah would give me access to the Bruno family that I’ve never had before. I can come and go from their house under the cover of my friendship with Casso and the work I do for them, but I can’t wander around unattended, not without the staff logging my every move.
Don Bruno’s guards would never let me get anywhere near him when he’s alone in his study.
But if I were Karah’s husband?
Even Dons need to sleep.
Even guards need a break.
It would only be a matter of patience. If I took Karah and made her my wife, I could use her to get closer to her father—until one day, the revenge I need, the revenge that tears me to shreds every day of my life can finally become reality.
The revenge I sacrificed for. The revenge I sold my soul for.
And Karah was offering it to me with a naive smile that tore me into little tiny pieces.
So why didn’t I take it?
It would’ve been so easy to reach out and have her.
“Lights just went out.”
I look over at Casso. He still hasn’t moved, but his eyes are narrowed. I follow his gaze and he’s right. The front windows were glowing just a minute ago, but now they’re dead and still.
“It’s just after midnight, he could be going to sleep.”
“Give it another minute then we’ll head inside.”
“Is the kid alone?”
“He’s got roommates, but they’re not here.” Casso pulls his gun from the holster under his arm and checks to make sure the weapon’s loaded. “But does it matter?”
“I guess not.” I go through the same motions as him, checking my weapon, but my heart’s not in it.
Will you marry me?
I felt a thrill unlike anything I’ve tasted. It wasn’t only the devil screaming in my skull for blood—but also the demon deep in my guts burrowing deeper and deeper into my flesh. They want me to take her, own her, destroy her.
But the look on her face when I turned away from Rinaldo’s wrecked body stops me.
That shocked, blasted, shattered stare, empty and so far away.
She was broken and on the verge of shattering into tiny little pieces.
She had the same stare I’ve seen in old photographs of me.
“I hear you rejected my sister last night.” Casso doesn’t look at me as he casually puts his gun away. That’s a good sign. It’d be a little concerning if he kept it in his hands.
“It’s not a good idea.”
“Why not? She’s not good enough for you?” He says it with a smile, but there’s a malice in his gaze. He’s a wolf hiding behind his charm ready to strike and kill.
“She’s too good for me and you know it. Your father would never accept it.”
“What, you think Rinaldo was a better fit?”
“I knew he wasn’t. I don’t think your father will accept anyone.”
“That’s not true.” Casso stares out the front windshield. “He’d accept you, Nico. You’re like another son to him.”
The idea makes me sick. Nausea floods my body.
I hate the idea of Don Bruno thinking of me as anything other than his doom and his death.
“It’s still not a good fit.”
“What do you have against my sister?” His smile slips slightly. “You two have this weird hate thing going on. I’ve ignored it since it doesn’t really matter, but seriously, what’s the deal?”
“She’s just not my type, okay?”
“And you won’t do this? Not even for me?”
My jaw tightens and I glare at him. “If you want to order me to marry your sister, go ahead, Capo. I’ll follow your command.”
“Don’t be an asshole, Nico. Your grumpy bullshit doesn’t work on me.”
“Karah’s just not my type, okay? I don’t want to spend my life with a partner that I don’t fit with.”
He nods to himself and runs his hands down the steering wheel. I think it’s over so I look out the window, but he speaks up again, quietly this time.
“I think you’re wrong. You and Karah are too much alike and that’s why you’re constantly at odds. If you got over whatever bullshit’s holding you back, I think you’d see she’d make a good wife, or at least a good partner. And I think you’d be a good addition to our family, for what it’s worth.”
Hearing that breaks my fucking heart.
Casso’s always been good to me. Ever since we met ten years ago when I was just some eighteen-year-old soldier selling pills for his father on the street, he made me his friend and brought me along his rise through the ranks. I worked hard and earned my respect and my place in the Famiglia, but Casso gave me every opportunity to succeed.