10
Cadie
Ram touches my cheek and looks down at me with such tenderness it makes me want to cry. How embarrassing would that be? I’m able to control myself. Maybe it’s because I just had the best orgasm of my life, or maybe it’s because he’s being so gentle with me after, that I feel heartbroken knowing that he’s going to have this same experience with someone else. I’m so jealous right now that I could punch someone.
I close my eyes and fight back my agony. I tell myself at least I have him now. I’ll enjoy him while it lasts.
I kiss him like we’re in love, like he’s mine and only mine and it will always be that way. He kisses me back and I allow myself to pretend that all of the attention he’s giving me is not to boost his own sexual experience, but to bring us closer together. He whispers in my ear, and tells me I’m beautiful. I close my eyes and I’m so lost in make-believe that I hear the words, “I’m falling for you,” come out of his mouth.
I must have a crazy-good imagination because it almost sounds real. I open my eyes and he’s watching me expectantly. I pull him into a passionate kiss. He’s already hard again. He sits up and peels off the used condom, wrestles with his wallet before finding another. He slips it on.
I push him onto his back and squat over the top of him, lowering myself down on him until my ass is firmly against his groin. Then I start to bounce on top of him, feeling him bottom out inside of me. Tendrils of pleasure laced with pain roll through me.
He has the most gorgeous sex face of any man I’ve ever seen. He doesn’t make any of those weird twisted expressions that make a girl want to close her eyes and pretend he’s someone else. I just want to keep watching him. I’ve never kept eye contact with a man while he’s been inside of me. It’s usually awkward. But not with Ram. His eyes are trained on mine as if he’s silently communicating to me. I’m silently communicating with him too, telling him how much I want him, how much he turns me on. Through my gaze I tell him that I want more than just a fling. I want him in my bed, in my arms, in my life. I want him to be mine and me to be his. I long for that with him. His eyes tell me something similar, but I know our language is different. He can’t be telling me those things. Men like Ram don’t settle down with one woman. They have no reason to. Gina was right, and if I don’t heed her warnings, I’m going to get hurt.
I close my eyes and fuck him like my life depends on it until I’m coming. He grabs my hips and jackhammers into me. I scream his name as the world explodes around me and my second orgasm turns me into a pile of useless skin and bones. I collapse on his chest, our sweaty bodies sticking together. His big, muscular arms wrap around me, holding me tight.
We fall asleep like that, him clutching me like a child’s teddy bear and still inside of me. The sun is just starting to rise when I wake up. How did I sleep like this? Comfortably, I should add. My pussy aches from the pounding he gave me. I wriggle out of his arms and let his flaccid cock slip out of me. Even limp he’s bigger than anyone I’ve ever been with. My body is definitely feeling the difference.
Quietly, I get dressed. I hate to sneak out, but I don’t want our special night together to be ruined by awkward exchanges when he wakes up. I just want to remember him with that longing expression in his eyes and the way he held me after.
Once I’m dressed, I kiss his forehead and leave.