I get home and shower, feeling better once I rinse the ocean off me. After the adrenaline rush of Ben’s near-drowning, I need to get laid. I’m not fully horny yet, but there’s a needling somewhere in my groin that I know will eventually turn into an inferno. I’m debating on calling one of the regular chicks I hook up with or trying out some of the new offers I see in the comments on Instagram. So many options. What’s a horny guy to do?
I’m scrolling through the comments. These girls are shameless, going into full detail about the things they would do to me if they had me naked and alone. I wonder if they know the comment section is public. I laugh, my dick getting harder as I keep reading. In any other situation, that kind of blatant come-on would be a turn off—I like my women more subtle and flirty, but when my cock is hard enough to cut diamonds, blatant is good.
I’m still scrolling when I get a text from a number I’m not familiar with. I open it.
Cum ovr nd fuk me.
I let out a breath of laughter. It’s a bold text and I’m not mad about it. Consider me intrigued.
I text back: Who is this?
I get a reply a short time later with pictures. Nothing too revealing. A below the neck shot of a woman with an incredible body. She’s wearing a sheer robe, open just wide enough to see a pink lace bra and panties beneath, delicious cleavage, tan skin, and a flat stomach. The longer I look at the photo, the harder my dick gets until it’s bordering on painful.
Looks like we’ve found a winner.
I text back: Address?
She sends it and I stop at the liquor store to grab a bottle of wine before heading over to her place. It’s only a ten-minute drive. I’m digging deep into my memory to see if I can remember who she is, but I come up with nothing. I’d remember a body like that. I’m sure of it. It’s not like I’ve been with so many women that I can’t distinguish one from another—that would be an asshole move, and I’d like to think I’m not that guy. But I have to admit, the idea of not knowing her identity is exciting and keeps me turned on.
I get to my destination. It’s a nice neighborhood in a complex of high-end townhomes. Can’t say I’ve ever been here before. Nothing’s familiar about it. Once I get out of the car, I grab the bottle of wine I brought and head for the row of townhouses. Hers is #9. I knock on the door. There’s a sound coming from within. Sounds like glass breaking. What the hell was that? I knock again. A dog barks and I take a step back. It’s not some little Chihuahua either. Sounds big, whatever it is.
The door opens and a big black and white spotted, long-legged mass of muscle and slobber attacks me with tongue kisses—not the woman, of course, but a mammoth of a Great Dane.
“Whoa, hey buddy,” I say, patting the dog on the rump when he turns his back to me.
The woman comes out from behind the door. She has the most incredible body I’ve ever seen. Better than her pictures. She’s tall with perfectly sculpted legs, dark wavy hair down to the middle of her back, dewy pale skin … but that mug. I make a face that I know is a cringe, and force myself to reel it back before she notices. I’m sure her face is probably beautiful, too. Hard to tell under the mess of the lipstick and mascara smeared across it. The girl is hammered. I can tell by the drooping eyelids and the hollow stare that she’s had way too much to drink.
“Hey sexty,” she says. Not sure where the ‘T’ came from in that word, but that’s how she says it. She takes me by the collar of my shirt and pulls me into her home. There’s an empty wine bottle on the table, but no glasses. She must have just gone for it, straight from the bottle. This girl set out to get drunk. Next to it is a crystal candlestick holder that shattered on the laminate floor. That must’ve been the sound of breaking glass I heard. Either she knocked it over while getting up off the couch or her dog’s whip of a tail did it. Either way, she’s lucky there was no flame considering the candle itself is lying right under the edge of the couch. That thing would light up like a Christmas tree.
“I want you to fuck me,” she says, bringing me back to the half-naked woman in front of me. She fumbles with the buttons of my shirt. Her hands are too clumsy to get the job done. Then she tries to rip it off, but that doesn’t work either.
I’m amused, trying not to laugh. I know for sure I’ve never met her. Every one of the women I’ve slept with is unique in her own way, and I have a damn good memory. Each has her own special something, whether it’s the color of her hair, her lips, tits or ass. With this one, it will definitely be those graceful long legs. But who is she? What’s her name? How does she know who I am? And the biggest question: How did she get my number?
“I’d love to, but it’s not going to happen,” I say, holding her hands down at her sides.
She looks down at my grip on her wrists as if she can’t understand why she can’t move her arms. She makes an irritated sound, followed by a whine. “Why not?”
“Having sex with inebriated women isn’t my style.” I test out the waters and let go of her—I don’t want her to think I’m trying to physically control her in her own home, which, at the moment, I am. Bad idea. She immediately reaches for my hard-on. Despite her tattered state, my damn cock remains hard. That body of hers is every man’s fantasy, sleek and muscular, yet still soft and inviting. And those gazelle legs … I imagine being tangled up with her, legs wrapped around my waist as I hold her against the wall and fuck her until she screams my name. That thought then shifts to an image of those legs spread wide as I eat her pussy. These thoughts do nothing to settle the hammer in my pants, and the knowledge that I might be stuck with this boner all night with no way to relieve it, brings me a twinge of disappointment.
I close my eyes, trying to get the thoughts of fucking her out of my head. It’s just making me get hard to the point of it being painful, and right now, there’s nothing I can do for release.
“That looks yummy,” she says, grabbing my dick and licking her lips.
Jesus Christ. This is going to be a difficult one to say no to. I grumble my disappointment.
She continues to get handsy. She’s like a goddamned octopus with those things, her fingers like tentacles latching onto me. I have to be more forceful with her, and I squeeze her wrists tighter to stop her advances. She lets out an annoyed grunt when she doesn’t get her way. Drunk people are like children. They’re impossible to reason with. I let out an exasperated sigh.
“Let’s just do it. I’m not inebr…” She stumbles on the word and tries again. “Iberi …” Eventually she just gives up and makes a series of mumbled sounds to replace the word.
This time I do laugh, but I keep it under my breath so I don’t hurt her feelings. Whatever made her decide to get this drunk must’ve bad.
Her dog comes up to me, leaning against my side in a dog’s version of a hug.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” I say.
Her face lights up. “Now you’re talking!”
I roll my eyes and shake my head, hiding my smile.
The dog follows me as I lead the woman down the hallway toward the bedroom. There are two rooms; one is a cluttered office. The other isn’t as frilly as I would’ve expected for a woman’s bedroom. It has gray walls, and a black and white striped comforter on a king-sized bed. A shock of color here and there keeps the room from looking plain. Makes me think a man might’ve lived with her at one point, but there are no signs of one being here recently. The closet door is open. One half is full of dresses and shoes. The other half is empty and hangers are slung across the floor like the aftermath of a hurricane in department store. Whoever left this place, left in a hurry.
I lay the woman down on the bed and take off the sexy black heels she wears and tuck her in under the covers. She pats the empty space beside her.
I smile at the offer. “What’s your name?” I ask her.
“Cadie,” she mumbles.
“That’s a pretty name. I’m going to get you some coffee.”
“I don’t want coffee,” she says through a yawn. “I want you.”
God, she’s making this difficult. “I’ll be right back.”
The dog trots behind me as I walk into the kitchen. Going through the cupboards, all I find is an expensive dark roast. I can’t even find a coffee maker, only a French Press, and I have no idea how to use it. I’m a simple Folgers kind of guy.
Water it is. I grab a bottle from the fridge and take it to her. When I get back to the room, she’s passed out. Her hair is splayed in a web across her face, lips slightly parted. I can tell by the way she snores like a truck driver that she won’t be waking up any time soon.
I move her hair off her face and tuck it behind her ears. Even through the mess of makeup, it’s easy to tell that she’s beautiful. Hard to believe such a beautiful creature can make such a horrendous noise. I juggle with the idea of recording her and sending the video to her once she sobers up, but that’s cruel, and I suspect I’ll be the only one laughing.
I put the bottle of water next to her on the nightstand.
She seems so vulnerable passed out with a stranger in her room. I shudder to think what could have happened if she’d called anyone other than me. I’m not comfortable leaving her alone in this state. Especially after seeing the broken candlestick on the ground. Safety doesn’t seem to be much of a priority while she’s hammered. Maybe there’s a friend of hers I can call. I contemplate going through her phone, but even if there’s a list of people I can call, I don’t know which ones I can trust. What if I called a co-worker or some sleazy guy she picked up in a bar? Or her boss, and managed to get her fired somehow?
My phone keeps chirping in my pocket. I pick it up and read the messages. There are several texts from different women wanting me to come over. I could be sweaty and rolling around in the sheets with some hot, naked bombshell right now, but no, I’m here babysitting a complete stranger.
I sigh and look at the woman in the bed, knowing I’m not going anywhere tonight, and I’m certainly not getting laid. Clearly this chick is going through something. I can’t help but wonder why she decided to get so wasted.
I look down at the dog. His collar says ‘Hercules.’ I flip the tag over, and on the other side it says, ‘My mommy loves me, please bring me home,’ followed by her address and phone number. Hercules’s big copper eyes stare back at me. He wags his tail so hard his entire backside moves. “Looks like you’re my date for the night, buddy,” I say.
I order a pizza and camp on the couch. Hercules climbs onto the couch with me and I give him my crusts. He chews with vigor and leaves a trail of slimy drool on my pants when he’s done. The dog and I are practically the same size. He lays his head on my lap and we watch Shark Week on the Discovery channel until we fall asleep.