“Do you want fries or onion rings with that?” I ask the man I’m helping, smiling at his young daughter who wiggles in her seat trying to drink her milkshake.
“Fries and maybe another milkshake.”
I nod, writing his order on my notepad. “Sounds good. I’ll get it out to you guys. Let me know if you need anything before that, okay?”
At his responding nod, I turn from the table to go drop off the order, grabbing a tray of empty glasses from a table as I pass. Using one hand I drop off the order ticket, walking toward the kitchen. Looking up from the counter I stop short, eyes landing on the man coming through the doorway. No. No, I’m not doing this. I just about drop the tray in my arms trying to set it on the counter next to me, my hands already shaking.
My eyes find Becca’s as she takes someone’s order, her brows dipping with confusion before they find Rafe. She nods in understanding and I peel my apron from my waist, leaving it by the tray. I need to get out of here. Before Rafe can step any closer, I spin down the employee hallway, pushing open the exit at the back.
I blink when the sun hits my face, bright and blinding. I close my eyes as the door shuts, taking a few breaths. I haven’t seen Rafe for two months but I’ve thought about him every single day. He made sure of it. He made sure I wouldn’t be able to forget him. He made sure I’d never get a chance to heal my heart.
Not only did he continue to pay my bills, but he had groceries delivered weekly. I got a yearly bus pass in the mail a week after I left. I got a raise at the diner, courtesy of its new owner. I should have guessed that would have been the way he would get me out of work; just buy the damn place. No matter what I did, where I went, I was reminded of him. I should be grateful for all of the things he’s been doing, but I can’t do it. I don’t want his things. I never wanted his things. I’d rather have nothing than this.
I only ever wanted him.
My eyes squeeze shut even harder when I hear the door open behind me, knowing exactly who it will be. I should have just run away.
“Ember.” I shake my head at the hum of my name leaving his lips. My skin prickling despite the sun beating down on me. The sun leaves my face and my stomach drops as the peppery scent of him floods my system. “Open your eyes, sweet girl.”
I do, but only because I need to see his face. I need to see who he’s pretending to be this time. He looks the same yet somehow different. He looks like he’s gone through hell and back, and part of me feels satisfaction in that. He reaches for me, fingers intent on touching my cheek and I step back, watching his hand fall between us. I can’t keep my resolve if he gets too close. Stormy grays flicker, burning with rejection. It hurts to see it almost as much as it hurt to deny his touch.
“What do you want, Rafe?” My voice is stronger than I expected it to be, my hurt bubbling behind my ribs.
“You.” Tears clog my throat with this simple word, a vicious flood of anger and pain banging to be let out. He must see it written across my face, see my mouth about to reject him, because he speaks up before I can, stepping close once again. “I’ve been miserable without you—”
I interrupt him with a quiet, “Good,” a tear I couldn’t hold back streaking down my cheek.
He smiles at me, a small sad twist of his lips. “I don’t deserve you, Ember. I don’t deserve your love.” His hands raise between us, testing to see if I’ll push him away. I should, but I don’t. I let his fingers smooth over my cheeks, warm palms cupping my face. “But I want to. I want to start over, start fresh. I want to earn it.”
“You broke my heart.” He closes his eyes at my raspy confession, steel gray mirroring my hurt when they open.
His fingers catch my tears, wiping them away. “Let me make it up to you. Let me show you that I can be worthy of you.”
“Start now. Prove it now.” My hands come up to wrap around his wrists, his warm skin grounding me while simultaneously unnerving me completely.
His breath blows over my lips and I suck it in, my cracked heart banging against my ribs with every silent second that passes. Just when I think he won’t say anything, his voice buzzes over my skin, pricks of lightning. “I broke my nose when I was eleven trying to do a trick on my bike and it never healed right. My favorite food is baked potatoes, but only with butter. I have one sibling who is younger than me and my dad’s favorite. I prefer classical music to traditional. My favorite color used to be purple but now it’s orange.” He pauses, pressing his forehead to mine. “You see the world with your heart, and you saw me when I thought no one else could. When I wanted no one else to. You’re the only one who has ever seen me. I love you, Ember. I love you and I’ve never been more terrified in my entire life.”
I love you, Ember.
It’s on repeat, thumping right along with my heart. It’s exactly what I’ve wanted to hear all this time, but hearing it still hurts. I only wish he had figured it out sooner. His face pulls from mine and I look up into it, seeing the real Rafe, the one he likes to hide away. “I won’t let you hurt me again, Rafe.”
His tongue swipes over his lip, a crease dipping between his brows. “We’ll move at your pace. I’ll walk away right now if that’s what you want.”
I swallow as he stares at me. My heart pounding in my pulse. “There’s a movie playing in the park on Sunday.”
His eyes flicker between mine with relief flooding his features, nodding at my simple invitation. “Okay. What time?”
“You can pick me up at nine.” He smiles at my words and it catches in my chest, a small smile twisting my own lips.
His lips meet my forehead, soft and sweet, retreating far too quickly when he lets go of me. “Nine o’clock, Sunday. It’s a date.”
I cross my arms as he backs away from me, my heart fluttering with hope. “Don’t be late.”
He chuckles, pulling his keys from his pockets. “See you later, sweet girl.”