Rafe’s shoes make loud squelching noises as he walks through the house, both of our bodies leaving a trail of dripping water in our wake. I’m still shivering as we get to the room, but I’m not nearly as cold. Not a single word has been said since we left the boat house and every step that’s brought us here has coiled tension in my chest like a snake, ready to lash out at any moment.
He walks me straight to the tub in the bathroom, letting me down feet first so I’m standing in it. Spinning me by my shoulders, his knuckles run along the ridge of my spine as he unzips my soggy dress. I reach behind my back and undo the clips on my bra as he tugs the wet fabric down my body, the lace sticking to my skin as it goes. Not seeing his face makes it easier for me to undress than it was for me to put the clothing on, the atmosphere painted in a completely different light.
When I’m completely stripped Rafe reaches for the nozzles, turning the tap on hot. Stepping from the clothing piled at my feet I lift it up pondering what to do with it before I just toss it over the side, letting them slap onto the floor beside the tub. The hot water swirls around my ankles and I stare down at it when Rafe grabs onto my wrist, lightly pulling so that I sit. I still don’t face him, keeping my back to where he’s crouched. I hear his shoes squeak as he stands, watch the movement out of the corner of my eye as he walks around the front of the tub. I wrap my arms around my drawn up knees, the water warming my fingertips as they dip in.
Rafe drops in front of me, hands gripping the side of the tub. He still has droplets of water on his cheeks and chin dripping from his hair, and I watch one drip off of his skin and land into the water. Those steel grays of his are bright in the bathroom lights, reflecting my own image back at me as I sit in the rising water of the tub. When the water reaches the tops of my breasts, Rafe leans over and turns the tap off, eyes never leaving mine.
The silence is stretching between us, that snake in my chest coiling tighter and tighter with each passing second. Instead of sitting back, Rafe leans into my space, his already wet chest dipping into the water as he reaches for me. Cool fingers run along my jaw to cradle my head. My heart thumbs against my ribs, loud and hollow as I wait for that snake to strike. He tugs my face close to his, our breaths mingling in the small space between our lips.
“You’re not allowed near the ocean again. Not until you learn how to swim.” I blink, the words leaving his mouth not the ones I expected to hear.
“What do you care?” Do you care?
Here comes that snake, hissing from the shadows of my ribs.
The tip of his nose brushes along mine and I close my eyes. “I’m not done with you. You don’t get to leave. You don’t get to die. You don’t get to do a single fucking thing until I want you to.”
His words wind their way around my windpipe, squeezing and bruising. That hope chest hidden behind my ribs cracking with the force. Even now he can’t bother to say he might actually care for me, not even with the perfect opportunity, too. He presses his lips to mine, harder and more bitter than any of the other kisses he’s ever given me and I shove my lips from his.
“Fuck you.” It leaves my lips in a whisper, shaking with the tears stuck in my chest. It’s the first time I’ve ever spoken to him like that and it doesn’t feel nearly as good as I would like it to.
He smiles against my lips, teeth pressing into them. “We’ll get there.”
He pulls back from me, the bath water sloshing as he rises. I swallow as he stands, watching him toe out of his shoes, my eyes tracking each inch of smooth skin that gets displayed. His abdomen ripples when he peels his wet shirt from his torso, jaw clenching when his trousers are unbuttoned and I look away. When I feel him step into the water, I shift to the side only to be grabbed and pulled back. I collide with Rafe, my cheek smacking into his hard shoulder as he yanks me on top of him. He grabs my face once I’m straddling his hips, tilting my face down toward his. I close my eyes instead of looking at his face like I know he wants me to and am rewarded with a tear-inducing squeeze to my chin.
“Open your eyes, Ember.” The dark whisper sticks to my skin like hot wax, tearing away my flesh when I don’t immediately listen. “Ember.”
My heart thumps in my throat willing me to keep my eyes shut, my hands clenched around the edge of the tub on either side of Rafe’s shoulders instead of touching him. I don’t want to. I don’t want to open my eyes and let the monster before me shatter my hope chest. “I don’t want to.” I barely squeeze it past the lump in my throat, tears leaking from my closed eyelids to drip off of my cheek and land on Rafe’s chest.
The grip on my chin loosens but doesn’t move away, and I hold my breath as lips press to the corner of my right eye. My chin is titled and a kiss is placed by the left lid, mimicking the other. I feel his breath hot on my mouth, lips parting at the soft brush of his words. “Open your eyes, sweet girl.”
His tone is softer than before, conducting the perfect melody to sway my naive little heart. Peeling my eyes open, a waterfall of tears spill out, no longer being held back. His jaw isn’t as tight as it was before, his stormy grays softer as they watch the tears tracking down my cheeks. For someone who wants nothing but my pain, nothing but my destruction, he doesn’t look like he’s happy to see them.
“Tell me you won’t go near the ocean again, that you’ll stay away from the boat house.” I sniffle, swallowing back a hiccup. I nod as his palms cup my cheeks. “Say it, Ember.”
“I won’t go near the ocean.” His thumbs run under my eyes, wiping the last of my tears away. “Or the boat house.”
“Good.” There’s almost a hint of relief in his voice, like hearing me say I wouldn’t go there reassured him more than him just giving me the command. His fingers brush into the hair at my temples, tangled with sea salt. “Kiss me.”
I hear his request but I hesitate, my fingers tightening around the lip of the tub. I never take the lead, am never the person to initiate anything between us. Rafe’s hands pull my face closer to his, encouraging me to listen without words. I lean into him, my wet chest pressing into his, making the water between us rise. My lips mold with his softly, a tentative peck. When he doesn’t pull away or give another command, I repeat the kiss, unwrapping my fingers from the tub.
His hands slide from my face and down the sides of my neck, trailing down to my forearms. Taking my hands in his, he presses them to his skin, our mouths molding into something more exploratory. His palms press up my sides starting under the water, thumbs brushing along the edges of my breasts. My fingers have wound their way from his chest and over his shoulders to run along the thick cords of his neck, to run my fingers through the damp strands of his hair. A low groan blows against my lips when I boldly suck Rafe’s tongue into my mouth and the sound hits me low in my belly.
I can feel his erection pressed up against my navel, and it heightens my own arousal. It feels good to please him. It feels good to do something that’s not all just take, take, take. It feels like I actually have a say in what’s happening and the thought thrills me like no other. Adjusting my knees, I raise myself up, my palms cupping Rafe’s cheeks, keeping his mouth to mine. Part of me is scared that if I let him loose from my kisses, he’ll ruin this, say something to wreck my perfect moment, so I just don’t let him go.
Dropping one hand between us, I let my fingers bump over the smooth ridges of his abs, run them over the swollen head of his cock, reveling in the hum that leaves his chest. Angling him, I lower my hips, my lips parting with a groan of my own when his thick crown pushes into my pussy. The hands on my waist don’t force our rhythm like usual, they wait for me to move, for me to decide our pace.
Our breaths are shared as I begin to move, shaky exhales that burn right down to that hope blooming in my ribs. It’s foolish, I know it is, but I let each shift of my hips place a stitch on the crack that was created earlier. I let every soft kiss and touch soothe over the rough edges like sandpaper, making everything soft and shiny like new. As I near my orgasm, one I had a hand in crafting, I let my chest fill back up with hope.
My orgasm rocks through me, shattering the peaceful illusion we’ve created with my less than quiet roar of pleasure. Water sloshes out of the tub with every movement, loud splashes that drench the floor. My lips part from Rafe's, my head falling back as I rock into it, and for just a moment I let myself feel complete. Rafe’s palms wrap around my breasts while I writhe, his hips bucking below mine as he follows my release with his own.
When I start falling down from my high, I find Rafe’s eyes, wait for him to tear my peace apart by its seams. But he doesn’t. Instead he pulls my chest flush with his, tucking my face into the crook of his neck. I wait for the ball to drop as I listen to his heart settle in his chest, wait for one of his signature soul crushing words to stain the moment.
But it never comes.