I ask Linda the questions, and I actually learn quite a bit about her. She tells me she wishes she could change her judgy side, but the reason she’s like that is because she was raised by a mother who spent her days talking about other people and she feels like it’s just ingrained into her brain. She doesn’t like that about herself.
Her biggest fear is losing her children, too. She feels like this, because she did lose a child. When she was just a teen, she got pregnant by accident with her boyfriend and her first daughter was one month old and she died from SIDS. Ever since then, she’s found herself constantly scared about losing another child. That absolutely breaks my heart, and it softens something in me, something I didn’t think would soften when it comes to Linda.
“I am so sorry,” I say to her, and my voice is genuine. “I truly have no words but those.”
Linda nods, giving me a small smile. “It was a very long time ago, but the pain still lingers.”
I ask Linda what makes her angry about me and she takes a while to answer. She really thinks on it, and for a moment, I wonder if she’s going to respond at all, but eventually, she does.
“I ... honestly, I had no reason not to like you. You were nice to all of us on the bus. I guess when I knew what you and Enzo were doing, I judged you. I just assumed you weren’t here for the right reasons, and a part of me was jealous. My husband hasn’t looked at me like that for so long, let alone made love to me. I’m lonely, I’m bitter, and you triggered that.”
Respect.
I didn’t have a single ounce of respect for Linda yesterday, but today, I respect the hell out of her. It takes a lot to admit something like that, it takes a lot to say you’re wrong.
“I really appreciate your honesty,” I say. “I didn’t try either. I just threw down instead of trying to be nice. That wasn’t fair.”
She nods. “Thanks.”
We finish up the task by writing down what we like about the other person, I write that Linda is honest, loyal, strong, kind, and a warrior. Any mother who has lost a child and gotten out of bed ever again is a warrior in my eyes. She’s the strongest type, and I have a whole new level of respect for her.
Hats off to Rhett.
The man knows what he’s doing.
That was the best task I’ve done in a very long time.
It opened up something in me.
I’ll be sure to thank him later.
“I’VE NEVER BEEN SO glad to see a bed in my life,” Faye cries, throwing herself down onto her bed when we arrive back at the ranch a few days later.
I must admit, sleeping on the ground was starting to get a little tough, and I’m looking forward to climbing into that bed and sleeping, too. In fact, I might just nap today, something I haven’t done for a very long time. But, there is one thing I need to do first, and that is call Ronnie and tell him what’s happening.
One thing I need more than anything right now is to know that man is still in prison.
Ronnie can find that out.
“I’m going to nap today, but I just want to call Hudson first. I think we have massages and a spa day this afternoon? God, that will be incredible.”
Faye exhales. “Oh yes, I can’t wait. I’m going to call my kids too.”
I take my phone and walk outside of the cabin and off the side and around the back. I don’t want Faye or anyone else to hear this conversation, mostly because I’m not even sure I’m on the right path and I need to be sure. I dial Ronnie’s number, and, thankfully, he answers right away.
“Hey, June, how’s it going?”
“Hey, Ronnie, listen, are you away from Hudson?”
He pauses. “I can be, hang on.”
I hear him shuffling, and then he says. “I’m here, what’s wrong?”
“I need you to call the prison and I need you to ask them if Joel has been released.”
Saying that name makes me shudder. I hate it. I hate everything about it. I wish I never had to think it, or say it, again in my life. The amount of pain the man behind that name gave me, is not something I’ll ever easily recover from.
Ronnie goes silent for a moment. “What’s going on, June?”
“Someone is here, Ronnie. They have been since the start, but I don’t know who it is. I’ve had my bag stolen, notes left, and when we were camping, a man walked right up to me, and I’m so sure it was him. I think he’s out and I think he’s looking for answers.”