Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
- Carol Burnett
CHAPTER 1
SAILOR
“What? I asked for a ride on his Harley. His cock was an added bonus. Also, can we just say huge, big, ginormous? I mean, he should come with a warning label tattooed across his lower stomach.” The look on Lavender’s face tells me I grossed her out. That’s a point for me. After all, I’ve had to hear about Hawk for too many years to count.
“Sailor!” She plugs her fingers into her ears, screaming out my name in admonishment. I shrug my shoulders. Payback’s a bitch, and she was well due for that. The reason she’s grossed out, though, well, that’s probably because Jackson and she were raised together. They are practically siblings.
“What? It’s not like there’s much for marriage material around here or back home, and Jackson isn’t looking to settle down either. May as well have fun while I’m young and free.” I moved to Texas shortly after Lavender and I graduated from college. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being back home, but then I realized I outgrew the small cow town and fell in love with all things Texas.
“Can we make a pact that we will not talk about lengths and girths?” Lavender holds her hand out for me to shake on it. I tilt my head to the side, unsure if I’m willing to compromise on this. You see, I love shocking her. “Sailor, if you don’t shake on this, I’m going to lock you out of my house, indefinitely.”
“What? You don’t want to hear about all the lewd and lascivious things Jackson does to my body, let alone my guts?” Did I mention I love that Lavender is so easy to gross out?
“That’s it. You’re done. You are done. Out of my house. I love you, Sailor, but no more, God, please no more. My eyes, my ears, my imagination; it’s got to stop.” You get caught making out one time, and it’s the end of the world.
“Fine, you’re such a fun sucker. I swear since you’ve settled down, you’ve gotten boring.” I pretend to yawn just for annoyance purposes.
“Whatever, just because I don’t want to hear about your sex life doesn’t mean I don’t have my own, which is off the charts. Though, there’s no way I want to know about Jackson’s anything when it comes to the male form. He’s practically my brother. Yuck.”
“Yeah, yeah, I pinky promise I’ll keep the gut rearranging to myself, though I may need to find a new bestie.” I reluctantly seal the pact with our pinky fingers.
“Nope, no way. You’re mine, and I’m yours. You know what they say, two’s company, three’s a crowd. We’ll just have to get evasive.” Lavender holds my finger after we’re done.
“Sure.” I already know she’s full of shit. Lavender has no problem telling me all about Hawk.
“Are you going to the party tonight?” She’s talking about the party where Jackson becomes a full member. I shrug my shoulders in response. Our relationship is more of a non-relationship. We both have our reasons—me because I have no idea where I see myself in life. I went to college and got a degree in business, making sure I could use it anywhere. The career life isn’t for me, though. I worked in an office for two weeks, hating every second of it before I quit. That’s why I’ve worked as a waitress at one of the club’s bars. Not the strip club. Sure, money is amazing there, but I’m so uncoordinated in the dancing department I’d probably break a bone as well as someone’s nose if I got too close. So, I’ve been floating, drifting almost through life. For now, I’m fine with it. For the future, who knows. I make enough to pay for my apartment in town, bills, and the shopping addiction in the clothes and accessories department to tide me over. The same can’t be said for Jackson. He’s got his head on his shoulders, becoming a member of Diamondback, working for the club at their mechanic shop. Neither of us asks more of the another; it’s been good.
“You think it’s a good idea for me to go?” I ask Lavender.
“Why wouldn’t it? Just because you two can’t get your shit together and become more of an item doesn’t mean the club doesn’t know Jackson and you are a thing. Plus, he’ll need some tender love and care.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Oh, about now, he’ll be finishing with his back piece, the brothers will be plying him with all the alcohol they can, and he’ll need his woman to soothe all of his aches and pains.” I’m mentally cataloguing what to wear tonight.
“Hmmm, I may need to shop,” I reply.
“No, you don’t. Girl, your spare bedroom is a closet.” Lavender knows my addiction all too well.