The breakup was painful, and if we’re going to start anew, I want to understand what drove him to leave me. “Tell me, Berk.”
He nods. “Let’s walk and talk. We can head over to my house if you’re game. I’ll explain on the way.”
I squeeze his hand. “I’m game. Let’s go.”
Chapter Fifty-Six
Berk
This is it.
I’m about to share my truth with the woman I love.
I hold tightly to Astrid’s hand as we cross the street. Once we’re past a trio of people, I glance down at her. “Stevie was born nine months after Layna and I met.”
Astrid’s eyes widen. “Oh.”
I nod. “It was supposed to be a one night stand.”
“I didn’t know.”
There is no way she could have known. I don’t share that detail with anyone when they ask about my late wife, but it’s easy to figure out if you do the math.
Stevie did it herself when Maren was pregnant.
She wanted to know why Layna and I had married just three months before she was born.
I told her that sometimes the wedding is late and that babies can’t wait.
She laughed.
Eventually, if she has more questions, I’ll answer them, but that seemed to be enough to satiate her curiosity for now.
“We met on a dating app.” I shake my head. “It was more of a hookup app.”
Astrid smiles. “I’ve used them before, so I get how that works.”
She’ll never use one again. I’m hers for as long as she’ll have me.
“We had exchanged names and numbers after our encounter.” I glance ahead to a woman approaching with a dog on a leash. “We didn’t talk again until Layna found out she was pregnant.”
“You must have been surprised,” Astrid says.
I huff out a laugh. “Shocked.”
We navigate around the woman and her dog. Astrid takes a moment to bend down to pet its head before we move on.
“We hung out a lot after that, and it slowly turned into something more.” I look at Astrid. “By the time she was six months pregnant, we decided to get married since I was living in New York and she was relocating here so I could spend time with our baby too.”
“You met somewhere else?” she questions.
“Boston.” I swallow. “I was on a business trip to Boston when we hooked up.”
Astrid nods.
“We had fallen in love by the time we got married,” I say quietly. “We were both already in love with our baby, so it felt natural to fall in love with each other.”
“That must be such a strong bond.” Astrid steps around a baseball on the sidewalk.
“It was.” I punctuate the words with a nod of my chin. “We fell into married life and parenthood pretty quickly and effortlessly. Layna decided to stay home full-time, and I worked on building up my business.”
Astrid remains quiet as we walk side-by-side, still holding hands.
“One day, I found a notebook on the coffee table. It was filled with poems and short stories.”
“Layna’s poems and stories?” Astrid asks.
“Yes.” I squeeze her hand. “She had been diagnosed with cancer by then and mentioned wishing she would have had the chance to see them published, so I did that for her. That’s the book Stevie showed you.”
“That was such a wonderful gift,” Astrid says quietly.
I slow as we approach my home. Turning to Astrid, I reach to cup her cheek in my palm. “Right before Layna died, she told me that a few weeks after she found out she was pregnant, she was offered an opportunity to work with a poet in Greece. It was a mentorship. She had applied months before.”
Her eyes search mine as she listens.
“She said she thought about moving to Greece and raising the baby there, but one of the first things I had said to her after she told me she was pregnant was that I would have no trouble dividing my time between Boston and New York. I was fully on board with being a dad from day one, and since we hadn’t discussed logistics, I assumed she’d be in Boston, and I’d be in New York. I had even cracked a joke about being grateful she wasn’t on another continent.”
Astrid nods. “I think I understand.”
“She gave up her dream to fulfill mine,” I whisper. “She put my needs before her own.”
Astrid steps closer to me. “You didn’t want to do that with me. That’s why you broke up with me. You thought I’d be giving up on my dream if I stayed in New York.”
“Yes.”
Her eyes lock on mine. “Keyline isn’t my dream, Berk. It was my mom’s dream. Being with you and Stevie, running Vinyl Crush, and playing my music to the people here makes me incredibly happy. The thought of walking away from all of that is difficult.”
Stunned by her admission, I exhale in a rush. “Keyline is making a huge announcement on Monday, Astrid. I thought you signed with them.”