“Pretty fucking shitty,” Evan says. “At least they know we know.”
“Know what, exactly? That someone in the rank is covering up a ton of shit and ruining lives.”
Evan shrugs. “They just know we know. Not much else we can say until we figure it all out.”
“Aren’t you tired of trying to figure it out?”
He sighs and sets his hands on the table. “I hate it. I hate that I miss my job and would go back in a heartbeat if I could. I hate that my government—the one I pledge to protect—didn’t protect my teammates or me. I hate that some piece of shit got to dictate our futures. Shit, Nate, the list goes on and on, but I’m alive. You’re alive. I’ve got Ryley and EJ. You’ve got Cara. We take shit one day at a time until it’s over. If it’s ever over.”
“I know I haven’t said this before, but I’m really happy you’re back. Losing you . . .” I pause and gather my words. “It was like I lost a part of me. And the stuff that happened with Ryley, I know now that it was wrong, and I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you,” he says straight away. “I probably would’ve done the same thing in your shoes. I asked you to take care of her, and you did. You were both hurting. It makes sense.”
“EJ calling you dad really capped your wedding reception off.”
Evan laughs. “He told me afterward that he’s been fighting saying it for some time because he wanted it to be special and something I would remember. I told him every day with him is special, and there doesn’t need to be an occasion to tell someone how you feel. Life’s too fucking short to wait around.”
Evan’s right. I don’t want to wait to ask Cara to marry me. “I’m going to ask Cara to marry me. I’ve just been to the jeweler and bought her a ring. I’m going to do it tonight.” Evan smiles. He comes around the table and hugs me.
“I’m happy for you, man. Cara’s awesome. If it wasn’t for her . . .” his words trail off. We all know there isn’t a need to finish what he has to say. She uncovered the cover-up and helped McCoy find his family.
“Our lives are finally falling into a happy rhythm.”
“Makes you wonder what lurks around the corner.”
I bring the beer bottle to my lips and take a long drink. “Nothing we can’t handle.”
Evan offers me his fist, and I bump it. “Help me wire the house,” he says. “I feel like it’s time I sit at a desk and watch the people in my neighborhood.”
“You need a hobby, man. Something that doesn’t involve guns, spying, and watching endless hours of surveillance videos.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
Maybe we need our own book club?
CHAPTER 4
CARA
Motherhood has never crossed my mind. I’ve never seen myself as the motherly type or someone who’s nurturing. I’m married to my job, and up until I started working on the Tacito Renato case, I never thought I’d find love. Or, in my case, love again. At one time in my life, Nate was the love of my life. I thought we had a bright future, but the world had different ideas for us. The odd thing is, I never felt heartbroken when things ended, I felt . . . okay. It was like we were expected to take the paths we did, and I think we were meant to find each other again. I’m just not sure we are meant to be parents. Well, he might be, but I’m not positive I am. I see the world differently. I know the dangers that lurk in the darkness and wonder if bringing a child into the world is the right thing to do.
I bring my knees to my chest and look at the ocean. To my left, candidates are training, or they were. Now, most of the candidates are sleeping, with their legs and feet pressed against the wall, so their boots will dry. Their trainer is running. He’s passed by me a couple of times now, from one end of the beach to the other, and when he passes by a group of civilian women, they catcall him. I wonder if he blushes or if he’s used to this? Does he ignore them? Does he ever stop and talk to them?
Someone approaches me, and I reach toward my back and clutch the handle of my gun. When they get closer, I realize it’s Tucker McCoy, and I relax.
“I thought that was you,” he says as he sits down next to me. “Where’s Nate?”
I haven’t a clue. I didn’t ask him about his plans when he left this morning. Is that bad of me? Should I know his every move? I think back to the conversation we had the night before, and he mentioned seeing Evan later. Is it later? God, my mind is a mess.