“Both.”
“Why?” I whisper, my eyes dropping to the water to see it’s dirty from the blood that’s washed off.
He sits on the side of the tub, letting out a sigh. “Because I love you.”
My chest squeezes at his answer, and my eyes snap to his. I always thought he had something to do with my lack of love life. But I thought it was because he just wanted to make my life miserable. I might have hated him as much as I thought he hated me, but I never ruined any of his relationships. But then again, he never had any. In the six years I’ve known Colton Knox, he’s never had a girlfriend. “Colt—”
“I always have,” he interrupts me. “Since the moment I saw you in my father’s kitchen.”
I’m not sure at what point I allowed myself to feel anything for him, but even when we were at each other’s throats, I could never see my life without him. I hate that we’ve come so far, only for Nate to ruin it. “And now?” Tears spring to my eyes, my pulse racing, knowing he’s going to reject me.
He frowns, tilting his head to the side.
“How do you feel about me now?” My throat closes up on me. “After Nate …” I can’t get the words out this time.
When he stands, my heart starts pounding in my chest that he’s going to walk away. But instead of leaving, he rips his shirt up and over his head and undoes his jeans. Toeing off his shoes and removing his socks, he shoves his jeans and black boxer briefs down his legs and kicks them away before stepping into the water. I lean up from the tub and he sits down behind me.
Wrapping his arms around my shaking shoulders, he pulls my back into his chest. “Nothing ...” he whispers in my ear. “Nothing could ever make me not love you, princess.”
The first tear runs down my face and I nod, sniffling. I lean my head on his chest, taking in a shaky breath.
“Don’t think that what Nate did to you makes me see you any differently.” He pulls all of my hair off my chest and back, placing it over my left shoulder. “You were my princess then. And you’re my princess now.” Sighing, he adds, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry that he came after you.”
I pull away from him and turn off the water before it gets too high. Turning in the tub, I look over at him. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“It was.” He sits up. “Me and the guys—”
“I let you do those things to me, Colt. I …” I drop my eyes to the dirty water. “I wanted it.” I may not remember everything that happened at Mike’s house. But I remember what he said to me in the bedroom and how turned on I got. I willingly followed him back into the party, knowing that he was going to do something to me, and I was going to beg for it. I’ve never told him no or to stop. I willingly let him have his way with me because I want him to. Nate saw an opportunity and took advantage of it. Of me. He used Colt and the guys as an excuse to be a raping murderer.
“Hey.” He cups my chin gently, forcing my eyes back up to his. “Don’t feel guilty.”
Biting my bottom lip, I look away from him and stare at the black tiled wall as if it holds all the answers to the questions that I want to ask.
He scoots closer to me, and I feel my throat close up on me. I hate feeling this way. I told myself that what Nate did wasn’t going to affect me. That I wouldn’t allow him to win. Colt just confessed he loves me and all I can do is think that I’ve ruined what we could have had.
“Look at me, princess.”
The sorrow in his voice pulls my eyes back to his. I blink, and fresh tears run down my face.
“We’ll take it one day at a time, okay?” he offers, and I nod slowly. “I’m going to be right here with you.” Lifting my hand, he kisses my busted knuckles that I got from the car wreck. “And I promise, no one will hurt you again.”
“Thank you,” I manage to whisper, and he sighs.
I believe him. That’s one thing about Colt, he keeps his promises. Over the past six years, if he said he was going to do something, then he did it. I want him to love me for me. The me before today. The one before Nate came along and tried to ruin me for anyone else. I refuse to let that sorry bastard win. I will have my happy ending with the man I love. No matter how far I have to push myself to get it.