After that, I got him undressed and in bed. When I joined him under the covers and wrapped my arms around him, he automatically turned into my embrace. We were quiet for a long time before Sawyer said, “He’s sick, Jett.”
I wanted to say the man was a lot more than just fucking sick, but I held my tongue on that particular issue. “What happened in that room, Sawyer?”
“It wasn’t really about me,” Sawyer murmured. “Before he met me, I guess he was involved with a guy he met through an escort service. I think he really loved him,” he added.
“What happened to him?”
“He overdosed. It was listed as accidental, but Marcus blamed himself. The more Jeremy spun out of control with the drugs and sex with strangers, the more Marcus tried to control him.”
“Like he did with you,” I offered.
Sawyer nodded. “Jeremy died a few weeks before Marcus and I met. He never told me about him.”
“He just turned you into him.”
“Yeah.”
He was silent for a moment before continuing. “I don’t think he really wanted to hurt me in that room. He let Riley and Theo go and there were so many times I could have taken the gun from him. He was really confused, Jett. Like he didn’t know how he’d gotten there. When I took the gun from him, he just gave it to me and then he started to cry and tell me he was sorry.”
Sawyer sat up a little so he could look me in the eye. “But it wasn’t like all his apologies in the past.” He hesitated before adding, “I’m not making excuses for him, Jett. I’m really not. And I don’t even think the apology was really meant for me. I just… I just knew that there was something really wrong with him. When Cam searched him, he found a medical bracelet on Marcus’s wrist.”
“A medical bracelet?” I asked in surprise.
“It was a DNR bracelet. When I asked him about it, Marcus said he had a mass in his brain.”
“A tumor,” I murmured.
“An inoperable one on his frontal lobe. He said it’s been there for years. It would explain some of his extreme behavior in the past couple of years.”
While I knew Sawyer was likely right—assuming Marcus was telling the truth about his condition—I also knew that the man had been emotionally abusing Sawyer from the moment they met and so it was next to impossible for me to feel any kind of pity for him.
Sawyer dropped his head back to my chest. “I was so scared, Jett.”
“I know, baby. That situation would scare anyone—”
Sawyer shifted again so that his mouth was just inches from mine. “No, I was scared I’d never get to see you again. That I wouldn’t get to tell you how much I love you and I’m so thankful to God or fate or whatever for bringing you into my life.”
I captured his mouth with mine and pressed him to his back. I broke the kiss and whispered, “I died a hundred deaths when I realized I might not get to you in time.”
I kissed him again.
And again.
I made love to his mouth until I was breathless. I dropped my forehead to his as I tried to catch my breath. I felt raw and needy and desperate. “I need you, Sawyer. Please, I need you—”
Sawyer pulled me down for a searing kiss and then he was rolling us so that I was beneath him. I loved the weight of his body on mine and I immediately opened my legs to make room for him.
“Tell me what you need, Jett,” Sawyer said breathlessly as he began to grind his hips against mine.
“You. Only you. Always you,” was all I managed to get out before I sought out his lips again. I could only hope he understood my silent request because I couldn’t take my mouth off his long enough to speak the words.
It didn’t take long to confirm that Sawyer had, in fact, heard me because he kissed me softly over and over before saying, “Lift up.” My briefs were gone pretty much the second I lifted my hips but it wasn’t Sawyer’s hard cock that nudged up against my hole.
Not even close.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
SAWYER
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Jett called out when I ran the flat of my tongue over his opening. I had no clue if any man had ever done this particular act to him, but I didn’t care because I’d be the one he’d remember. After the events of the morning, I needed the affirmation that we were alive and okay and that our future together hadn’t been snatched away like it could have been.
I licked Jett again as I wrapped my hand around his leaking cock. My own dick was pressed against the sheets and it was all I could do not to hump the bed as Jett’s unique flavor hit my tongue. As Jett let out a string of curses and lifted his hips to give me better access, I used my free arm to lift one of Jett’s thighs over my shoulder. When he did the same with his other thigh without encouragement, my heart nearly exploded with joy. Jett was literally in one of the most physically vulnerable positions he’d ever been with me or anyone else, but he wasn’t even hesitating to give me his all.