I automatically reached up to the collar of my shirt to make sure I’d remembered to button it all the way.
Do you enjoy embarrassing me, Sawyer? Do you have any idea what you deciding to dress like a beach bum makes me look like?
Marcus’s words were so loud in my ear that I actually turned my head to search him out. When a sharp noise coming from the tree line behind me had me jerking around, I took several steps back as I waited for Marcus to come striding out of the woods.
“Hey, it’s me. Can you turn on the lights outside?” I heard Jett murmur. “No, we’re good,” he added.
The sound of Jett’s voice brought me back to the present. Shame rolled through me in waves as I realized Jett had once again witnessed that Marcus’s hold on me was anything but fleeting.
My eyes had adjusted enough to the dark to see that he was on his phone. A handful of seconds later, lights flooded the driveway, momentarily blinding me. But I couldn’t take my eyes off Jett. As the brightness of the light faded, I drank in the sight of him. His expression was unreadable, but he still had a hold of my wrist. Movement to my right had me automatically stepping closer to him.
But it was just Maddox stepping out of the door of Dallas’s house. “I thought you said they went to bed—”
“I lied,” Jett said without hesitation. “They’re all in there waiting for you. I had to promise Newt to let him paint my nails if he made sure everyone stayed inside so I could talk to you alone.”
I found myself smiling but that little bright light of joy was quickly doused when I realized that the men and little boy in that house weren’t my family. Just like the man before me wasn’t mine to keep.
My eyes caught on a glint of metal on Jett’s lap. It was a gun. “Is that for me?” I asked. I was mostly joking but Jett didn’t even react other than to pull me down so I was crouching next to his chair. Even if I’d wanted to look away from his fiery expression, I couldn’t.
“Did you really believe that I would let you just walk out of here? After everything that’s happened between us? Do you think so little of me that you thought I wouldn’t do anything and everything in my power to keep you safe, Sawyer? Whether we’re together or not?” Jett practically growled. He picked up the gun. “This is because I can’t fucking run after that piece of shit and beat the ever-loving hell out of him if he dares to show his face around here again.”
Up until the moment Jett had put his hands on my face as I’d been having my mini breakdown, I’d been numb. I’d had to be. It was the only way I’d been able to pack my duffel bag and then sit quietly on my couch as I’d waited for the cover of darkness to fall. If I’d let even one emotion see the light of day, the resulting fracture would have caused my entire resolve to shatter, and I never would have been able to walk away from the one place where I’d felt like I finally fit.
“Goddamn it, Sawyer, talk to me!” Jett implored.
I knew what he wanted. He wanted the things I couldn’t give him.
Answers.
Explanations.
Promises.
I shook my head and stifled the whimper that followed when Jett dropped my hand. But to my surprise, he didn’t just turn his chair and roll away from me. Instead, he asked, “Do you remember when I told you that I’d be here if and when you were ready to talk and that it was your choice and yours alone?”
I nodded as I waited for the “but” part of his comment. The part where he’d changed his mind about that offer. And it wasn’t like it was unfair because he’d said those words to me when he’d still trusted me.
“Nothing changes that. Ever. Whether there’s five feet between us or five miles. Just like nothing you could ever say to me would change the way I feel about you,” Jett continued.
If he’d said the words without any kind of emotion, I would have made it. If he’d just turned his wheelchair away without letting his gaze linger on my face like he was trying to memorize it or something, I might have been able to keep my mouth shut. If he hadn’t dropped that fucking wall that usually made him so difficult to read, I would have been able to turn my back on him and march into the house, ignore the pleas of the people inside who were going to try and stop me, grab my spark plugs and just fucking go.