4
Ambrose
Dax would be furious if he knew I’d invited Eric to his house. The thought made me smile. I’d forgotten just how much I enjoyed pissing my brother off. That was one of the perks of spending more time with him, even when part of me was screaming that I needed to retreat to my cabin and stay there. Dax and Travis had been relentless, forcing their company on me time and time again until I’d almost gotten used to it.
But Eric was a different story. Eric wasn’t family. Eric ought to be my enemy, but he was the man I thought of every time I took my dick in hand, which I seemed to be doing more and more since the day I’d walked away from him.
We’d talked once since then, but that conversation had been business only, or at least I’d pretended that was all it was. I pretended I didn’t want to talk to him at all. I pretended I was angry about the need to call him and had only done so out of necessity to communicate news about how LePlatt’s death was being received. Eric needed to know what was being passed through the grapevine since the death had happened in his jurisdiction.
If I’d actually been longing to hear the sound of his low, smooth voice, no one ever needed to know that. I wished I could forget it myself.
Maybe I should’ve lured him out to my cabin. I could easily have gotten rid of him by feeding him to Gerard, my alligator friend. I shook my head. I might tease Eric, but I could never actually end his life.
After my time in the army, I’d vowed to never again kill someone unless I knew they were guilty of heinous crimes. Shooting down one of LePlatt’s men had shaken me, but I’d asked around about the men before our operation and done what research was possible online. I knew the evil things they’d done. The man I killed deserved what he got. In fact, he deserved worse than a simple bullet to the head.
When Eric had suggested I would kill him to keep him quiet, the thought had sent me right back to the worst day of my life. I heard victims begging me to stop, begging for their lives. I shook my head, pushing the memories away. I couldn’t let them overtake me. I needed to appear at least somewhat sane for this meeting with Eric, though if he’d done his research, he should know how fucked up I was.
I grabbed Hope’s leash off the hook by the door. “Come on, girl. Let’s go for a walk.”
She raced around me, jumping and barking. Once I finally got her leash attached, we stepped outside. The air felt so different in the city than in the bayou, far more oppressive without the tree cover. I much preferred the way it felt hidden among the cypresses by the water, but early in my military career, I’d learned to ignore the weather and do what I needed to do.
I hardly noticed the heat as Hope and I headed through the neighborhood. If I could keep moving, maybe I could stop going over and over what I would say when I saw Eric again. I might even stop thinking about how he made me feel. I’d already given up on understanding why he affected me.
Hope bounced excitedly at the window, letting me know Eric had arrived. Instead of barking like she should at a stranger, she was whimpering, tail wagging excitedly as she danced around on her back feet.
Dammit. Did she have to make it so clear she liked Eric? At least she confirmed my instincts that said he was a trustworthy man. I opened the door as he started up the porch steps, not about to let him think I hadn’t noticed his arrival. I noticed everything that happened around me. I wouldn’t be alive otherwise.
Before I could say anything, Hope raced around the door and jumped up on Eric, paws scrabbling at his legs. He bent to rub her head. “Aren’t you a pretty girl?”
Great. He liked her too. “Hope! Get down.”
She ignored me.
“Hope, sit.”
I grew unreasonably frustrated when she still refused to listen. I was supposed to be in control. That’s how I needed things to be.
“She’s fine,” Eric insisted. “I love dogs.”
I snorted. “Of course you do. And I suppose you want a cute little house with a white picket fence, a pretty wife, a golden retriever, and plenty of children.”
He tilted his head and looked at me. His eyes seemed to hold mine, preventing me from looking away. My heart pounded, and sweat broke out on the back of my neck. This was not going well. I should never have invited him here. I wasn’t meant to be around other people. I just didn’t know how to do that anymore.