I hung over him. His cock was still in my ass, but I felt his cum dripping out. I looked up at him and smiled. “I love what a fucking filthy mess we are.”
He nodded then ran a finger through the cum on his torso and brought it to his mouth, sucking it clean like I had done the night before. “Mmm. So good. That was…”
“The best sex of my life.” I finished for him.
Slowly he nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Jesus, what are we going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
He laid his arm over his face.
I tensed. Was he going to end this now? After that, could he?
His words shocked me. “I think you should know why I’m… like this. Because I can’t promise I won’t… That I can be… stable.”
“I just want you to be you.”
He moved his arm to his forehead and looked at me. “You do?”
“Yes. Jesus, Ambrose, surely you know I’m not expecting you to be someone else. If I was, then… I wouldn’t have done this.” Was that true? I wanted it to be true. “You should know some things about me too.” If he could be that brave, then so could I. “Do you want to get cleaned up before we talk?”
He shook his head. “If I don’t do this now, I might never tell you.”
“Okay. At least let me get some water.”
“Hurry.” I was disturbed by how frightened he looked.
“It’ll just take a few seconds. I have bottles of water in the fridge.”
When I returned with the water, Ambrose had propped himself on my pillows. I handed him a bottle, and he drained almost half of it in one go. I did the same with mine.
He smiled. “That took a lot out of us.”
“It did.”
“Come here.” He held out his arm, indicating I should lie against him. I didn’t think there were many people he’d cuddle with, and the realization gave me another jolt to the heart.
“Can I take this off first?” I asked, starting to unbutton my uniform shirt.
“I guess.” He winked at me. “I told you I’d fuck you in it.”
“You can do that anytime you like, but right now, I want to be naked with you.”
“Yeah. I think I need that.”
I removed the shirt and tossed it to the end of the bed. Then I lay against him, using his chest as a pillow. It wasn’t soft, but it felt perfect to have his warm skin under my cheek.
Ambrose stroked his hand up and down my back. “Did you know I didn’t tell anyone when I decided to join the army?”
I shook my head.
“It was stupid, but I didn’t want my life dictated by my family. They had already decided Dax’s role would be extracting information, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before they designated a place for me, and I’d be stuck in it for the rest of my life.”
“But you work with your family now.”
“I’m more like a consultant, and it’s different now with Remington in charge.”
I nodded, not sure I truly understood but willing to take his word for it.
“I’d never really had to answer to anyone. My dad died when Dax and I were eight, and our mom took up with another man not long after that. They traveled most of the year, and we were left with nannies, all of whom could be easily bribed. I spent most of my summers out in the bayou at my great-uncle Etienne’s place.”
“That’s how you got to know Beau.”
“Right.”
“Why didn’t Remington’s family take you in?”
“Remington and Lance’s mother died about the same time as my dad. Uncle Bébe was too grief stricken to deal with more kids. It wasn’t until he remarried that he insisted on pulling us into the family business. He hadn’t gotten along with my mother, and she’d done what she could to keep us away from him, not wanting us to grow up under his thumb.”
Ambrose drew in a long breath and blew it out slowly. “I wanted you to know the background, but none of that is what really matters. None of that is what made me like I am.”
I frowned. “Maybe it affected you more than you realize.”
“It probably made me capable of what I did, but leaving for the army was… It was something I needed to do, but I immediately regretted not saying goodbye to Dax. I hurt him, and things weren’t the same with us for a long time.”
“They’re better now?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yeah. I finally realized I couldn’t hide from him.”
“Have you told him what you’re telling me?” I assumed he had. He and Dax were probably closer than even my sister and me.
But Ambrose shook his head. “I’ve never told anyone the full story, not even Dax, but I want to tell you. If I can. I don’t know if the words will come.”