“I care about you,” he said, his voice so low I barely heard him. “That’s why I’m here, why I didn’t have Lance drag you to a safe house.”
“Lance wasn’t going to do anything to me while I had Tony.”
“You would never hurt that monkey.”
I sighed. “Of course not, but I would take him home with me and spoil him, maybe teach him some tricks he could pull on Lance.”
Ambrose spun around, an evil smile on his face. “You think you could do that?”
“Maybe.”
“Let’s try it after we kill Carlotti.”
“I don’t think we’ll be—”
“You’re not getting away from me that easily. All I’ve done is run from everyone since the day I left to join the army. But you… I can’t run from you, and that means you’re stuck with me.”
I knew right then if Ambrose changed his mind and tried to run, I was going to go after him. I was going to fight for him. This wasn’t me chasing some impossible fantasy after all. This was real, the realest thing I’d ever felt.
“Put the cat down.” I thought he’d argue, because when did he ever not? But he didn’t
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and did what I said, giving Tubby a kiss on the top of his head before setting him in his favorite chair. I thought I’d fully accepted what I felt for him, but that sweet gesture pulled at my heart. I loved the man, and I was going to make sure he knew it, even if I couldn’t yet say the words.
I cupped his face and tilted his head, looking deep into his eyes. “I’ve been running from a lot of things too. I’m done now. I’m… yours.”
“Fuck, Eric. I don’t know how to do this.”
“Neither do I.”
“Kiss me.”
I did as he asked, pressing my lips to his with enough force to make him groan. My hands stayed on the sides of his face, holding him there, still scared he might try to run no matter what he’d said. As hard as this was for me, I knew it was more difficult for him to admit that he felt something, that he wanted contact, that he needed someone other than himself.
His hands clamped around my arms, but he didn’t try to pull me away. He used his grip to anchor himself as he ground against me.
17
Ambrose
I couldn’t fight this anymore. When I’d seen Carlotti’s man chasing Eric, gun in his hand, the world had faded away. There was nothing left but the need to destroy anyone who would dare harm Eric. He was mine. I needed him more than solitude, more than hiding, more even than the bayou I’d become a part of.
I was going to do like Dax had told me. I was going to stop waiting until I felt ready to let my barriers down. I was going to let go and see what happened.
When we pulled away from each other, desperate for air, I stared at him. He was so fucking hot. How had this happened to me? I’d gone from thinking I was straight, trying to push away any need for a relationship, then finding this man who was… it for me.
“You’re mine,” I growled. I wanted to reach for him, but I was frozen, rooted to the spot.
“Prove it.”
It was like he knew a challenge was what I needed to be able to move. I gripped his biceps and started walking him backward toward his bedroom. “Don’t ever do anything that stupid again. Do you understand me?”
“I was doing my job.”
“You don’t go into a situation like that without backup.”
“Wouldn’t you if you thought you could save someone?”
I sucked in my breath. “Yes.” The word was barely audible. “I’d do anything to save someone who was in need.” I squeezed my eyes shut as memories swirled around in my head, assaulting me in cruel flashes, threatening to overtake me. After what I’d done, I had to try to help everyone. It was my only hope of healing. The few men I’d killed since then had been threatening someone I loved. They were the enemy. There was no doubt.
“Ambrose?”
Open your damn eyes. Look at him.
“Ambrose, are you with me?”
I nodded.
“Look at me.”
When he asked, I could do it, even though I couldn’t do it for myself. His eyes were dark, warm, and soft. I let myself fall into them. “I’m here.”
“I won’t walk into danger alone until this is over.”
I never wanted him to put himself at risk, even when Carlotti and his organization had been obliterated, but we didn’t need to argue about that now. “Damn right you won’t.”
“You can’t follow me everywhere.”
“Watch me.”
I moved forward again, pushing him. He took step after step as I guided him to the foot of his bed. My hands pressed against his hard pecs, and I pushed. Eric fell back onto the bed, shock registering at how easily I’d sent him sprawling onto the mattress.