"Just a kiss?"
"To start."
"Innocent."
"No." Her voice drops. "And it wasn't sweet either. It was sweaty and angry and hot as hell."
"How did it go?"
"You want to role play our high school competition?"
"I want to roll your skirt to your waist and peel your panties to your ankles."
"I'm still not wearing anything under my dress."
Fuck me.
"Do you still listen to The Cure?"
The what?
My body begs me to relent. To toss our conversation aside, drop to my knees, dive between her legs.
But that isn't what she needs.
Not yet.
"Sometimes," I say.
"When was the last?"
"Six months ago."
"On purpose?"
"No." I rarely sit and remember. Better to move forward. To let go of the past.
Is that what I've done with my father?
With Bash?
I'm here to honor him.
But the rest is still a tangled mess. I haven't released my desire for revenge. No matter how much I try to let go, for him, for the people he'd want to protect, I crave justice.
But I try.
I wait. To protect the people who need protecting.
That's what matters.
Action.
"Opal had a playlist on the speaker in the kitchen." I need to protect her too. To protect my entire family.
And I need to think of something else.
Not the loss of my father. Or my brother. Or my ability to live a completely free life.
My desire to connect with Vanessa.
The present waiting for her in my bedroom.
The sound of her groan bouncing around the walls.
"You have a speaker in the living room?" she asks.
"I do."
"Since when?"
"A week after she moved in." This is why I'm here. Love. Not what Bash meant, but what he'd want.
Vanessa smiles. Part big sister pride. Part I want to mount you. "She was fifteen?"
"She was."
"Playing Taylor Swift all day?"
"And all night."
Vanessa laughs. "I would pay to see that."
"Come over and offer her DJ power. You will."
"Soon." Again, she smiles. "I interrupted you."
"I don't mind."
"I want to hear the story."
Fuck, where was I? "When Lovesong came on, I froze. I thought about him. How hard he tried to hide the side of him that loved new wave and Bond movies."
"Bond, really?"
"What's wrong with Bond?"
"It's a guy cliché."
"I've never seen one."
"Really?" she asks.
"Really."
"Well, why would you, when you could watch Killing Eve?" She notes my blank stare with a smile. "You have no idea what I'm talking about?"
"A movie?"
"TV show."
"Spies?"
"That's part of it. And sexual tension between two women. Women weaponizing other people's perceptions of them as cute or pretty or soft or sexual even. It's a popular show. Opal might watch it."
"I'll ask."
"You might like it. Or… do you like anything?"
"I don't watch TV on my own," I say.
"But you watch with Opal."
"I do."
"Is it just being a good brother? Or do you secretly love the drama on… what are you watching now?"
"Dawson's Creek?"
Her eyes light up. "That's what we watched in school. How did she even find it?"
"Streaming."
"Did you ever watch?"
"No. You?"
"A little. Lee loved it. She was obsessed with the love triangle."
"Who wins the girl?" I ask.
"I can't ruin the surprise." She laughs.
"What if I want to know?"
"Do you?"
The characters are only vaguely familiar. The girl from the wrong side of "the creek." Her childhood best friend. The playful bad boy.
No one who resembles Vanessa.
Or me.
No, that's not quite right. A girl from the city shows up. She's banished to the small town because she got into too much trouble.
Not Vanessa's path—she went from having nothing to having everything, and she was never even a little bad—but a big enough change.
"Do you think it's sad? If they end up with someone they liked in high school?" I ask.
"It can be." Her eyes meet mine. "If they get stuck at sixteen, use that as an excuse to stop growing. But some people grow together."
I nod.
"Or they grow in parallel. Find each other when they're older and wiser and able to see past their preconceptions."
"It won't matter they used to hate each other."
"Not if they mature."
"Is that what happens?" I ask.
"I won't ruin the ending."
"A hint?"
She looks at me funny, like she's not sure what I'm asking. "It's not what you expect."
"Were you happy?"
"Some parts. But I wonder… do people really end up with someone who sees them? Sees all of them? Respects who they are now? Or do they give up a piece of themselves for love?"
Is that what she thinks of love?
Why she ended things with her fiancé.
Why she's been single as long as I have.
"You don't believe in true, honest love?" I ask.
"Sometimes. Lee and Harrison, maybe. He loves her. The good parts, the bad parts, the really ugly parts. And she's still her. She's still a force of nature."
"Harrison?"
"You think she overpowers him?"
"Does she?" I raise a brow.
A laugh spills from her lips. Breaks the tension in her brow. "No. I think she'd tell me. She's extremely detailed about their attempts to get pregnant."
"I'm surprised she told Liam."