“I can’t, Brett.” I started to apologize but decided that sounded insulting and I didn’t want to do that. He was a great guy. Just not my great guy. Because I was an idiot. I liked to be ignored, apparently.
“You can’t or won’t?” he asked. “Just as friends.”
That was it. I couldn’t even as friends because if Asa called and asked, then I would be busy. I didn’t want to miss a chance to spend more time with Asa. I was “that girl” clearing her schedule for a guy who may or may not call.
“Not even as friends,” I told him honestly. He deserved the truth.
He let out an audible sigh. “I guess I should move on, huh.”
“Yeah,” I replied, feeling bad about all this although we hadn’t been a real thing. This wasn’t a real breakup. I couldn’t imagine what one of those felt like. This was hard enough.
“Ezmita,” he said.
“Yes?”
“Don’t wait around on him. You’re worth more than that.”
I didn’t respond to him. Instead I said good-bye and ended the call. I was annoyed by his unwarranted advice. This was not his business. He was right, but I still didn’t want to hear him say it. Annoyed, I went back to my text messages and typed, Want to go get a burger tonight? and hit send before I had a chance to think about it.
You Ever Been to a Lawton Game? CHAPTER 31
ASA
“You regretting letting me order for you?” I asked Ezmita as she stared down at the massive burger the server placed in front of her.
Her eyes were wide as she lifted them to meet mine. “How does one fit that in their mouth?” she asked.
“Watch and learn,” I told her, and picked up my identical burger between both hands, squeezed it down some, then took a bite. She was watching me, her eyes still opened wide in surprise.
“Yeah, I’m gonna need a fork and a knife,” she said while I chewed.
I shook my head no and finished chewing, then swallowed before replying. “Now, where is the fun in that? You told me to order you the best burger they had. I did. Now you must eat it like a man.”
She tilted her head to the side. “But I’m not a man.”
I nodded. “And thank God for that.”
She laughed and looked back down at her burger. “If I take one bite, can I then use a knife and fork?”
“Come on, live a little.”
She rolled her eyes, then took a deep breath before saying, “Fine.”
I watched as she pressed the burger as thin as she could get it with her right hand. She lifted her eyes to me one more time before picking the burger up with both her hands. “Don’t watch so closely. Makes me nervous.”
I smirked and turned my head to look the other way for only a moment, then went right back to her as she took a bite of the thing. It wasn’t a big bite, but she’d done it. There was a little ketchup on the corner of her mouth as she chewed. She put the burger down and picked up her napkin, then cleaned up around her mouth.
“So, best thing you’ve ever eaten?” I asked as she swallowed the bite.
She lifted a shoulder. “It’s not my papa’s discada norteña, but it’s good,” she agreed.
I chuckled, then took another bite of mine. I expected her to pick up her fork and knife but was pleasantly surprised when she chose to eat it the way a burger was supposed to be eaten. We talked some but not a lot as we enjoyed our meal. When some juice from the burger rolled down her chin and she laughed, I took a second to memorize the moment. I’d need it one day when things weren’t so damn perfect. Someday soon I’d miss her, and the times I had with her would be all I had. I just couldn’t trust that I wouldn’t get destroyed in the end. I’d open up and get hurt. I’d been hurt enough in life. I didn’t want to give anyone else the power to do it.
When we finished, I paid the check, then stood and took her hand in mine. “Come on,” I said. “My turn to pick something to do.”
“Hmmm… okay, but technically the burgers were for you. My idea, sure, but I picked it for you.”
I helped her up into my truck, then went around to get in on the driver’s side. I had fought off calling her and asking her out since I’d gotten home Sunday evening. I’d enjoyed her company too much. I was trying to save us both from me. Then she’d sent that text asking if I wanted to go get a burger and I cracked. Yes, I would go eat anything she wanted if it meant I got to be with her. That wasn’t a good thing. The fact I hadn’t taken up Tasha or Bex on their offers when they’d each called to ask to hook up the past two days was proof enough I might be in trouble.