Changing into shorts and a T-shirt I had cut the sleeves out of, I prepared to go run. I should have been at the field house lifting weights, but I wasn’t ready to see everyone. They’d want to know why I left. They’d ask questions I didn’t want to answer. They had all been here adjusting to the death of Hunter, and to me it had been as if nothing happened. I’d been shipped off. I hadn’t lived in Lawton after Hunter. I hadn’t been here when everyone was sent home from school to quarantine in their homes. In my head, it was as if Lawton had kept on being Lawton while my weird new world was only happening in New Mexico, but it was clear that wasn’t true.
The idea of going to that field house and Hunter not being there, his locker being empty, his jersey retired and hanging up in the frame that Nash had told me about, I didn’t think I was ready for that. Not being here had kept me from… mourning, like my friends had. I was back now and the reality was here.
My parents weren’t inviting me to visit. They knew I was back, but they didn’t want to see me. Hunter was gone. The guy who shot him was behind bars for life. His accomplices were in there for twenty-plus years. There was a billboard in town about Hunter being a hero. Ryker was alive, and I felt guilty that deep down I was glad it hadn’t been Ryker who took the bullet. Hunter was my friend. But Ryker was one of my lifelong best friends.
As I stepped outside, the warmth of the sun felt good on my skin. I took a few minutes to stretch before turning right and heading toward town. Turning left would have made more sense. Less traffic and more sidewalks. However, turning left would have taken me by the Maclays’ house, and I didn’t want to see it. I was dealing with the reality one step at a time. I wasn’t ready to see that house and remember what happened.
I could have always turned left and then hung a right before getting to the Maclays’ house, but then I’d pass my parents’ house and I sure as hell didn’t want to see it, either. So, right it was. By the time I’d turn to come back to Nash’s, it would be fucking blazing outside, but the sweat was good for me. I normally ran earlier in the morning or late in the evening. Today the punishing heat seemed appealing. Maybe being back here was causing me to snap.
Running always cleared my head, and soon I wasn’t consumed with Lawton and all its pain. My muscles were awake, and the breeze on my face made everything else fall away. I wasn’t focused on anything around me, which is probably why I was almost on top of Ezmita Ramos when I noticed her walking across the street in the opposite direction. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail and was swinging with her swift pace.
I slowed, then glanced both ways before crossing the street at a jog. She had stopped walking and was watching me as I came to a stop a few feet from her. Not sure if I needed to step back until we were a safe six feet apart, since neither of us was wearing a mask.
“Hey,” I said with a smile as she gave me a quick once-over. She’d been focused too, and from the look on her face, she hadn’t noticed me until I’d almost reached her.
“Asa,” she said, her eyes widening a little. “Uh, how are you? When did you get back in town?” She ran her questions together, and then her cheeks flushed as if she had asked something embarrassing.
“I’m good and yesterday. I saw you at the grocery store.” I left out that I had seen Brett as well.
Her cheeks burned brighter at the reminder. We had made eye contact and I’d purposely winked at her. Damn mask covers your mouth and smiling wasn’t an option. She couldn’t pretend she hadn’t noticed me.
“Oh yes, I remember, I just didn’t, I mean we didn’t talk, or…” She trailed off and I wondered if she could be any more adorable. I was making her nervous. I wanted to think it was my sexy appearance, but I had a feeling it was the fact our last and only time together, I’d almost ended my life.
“You were with Brett. I didn’t want to interrupt your, uh, shopping,” I said with an amused grin. Even if I hadn’t been amused.
“Yeah, we were just getting things for an Ozark binge,” she explained, then forced a smile. “Are you still headed to Ole Miss?”
I gave a nod of my head. “Yep. If they open their doors, that is. Who the fuck knows anymore? We may end up doing more virtual shit.”