Candace talked about The Queen Bee, which was having a soft opening next Wednesday. I tried to keep up with all of the conversations, but all the alcohol I drank and the urge to crawl into my bed and hide there for days kept my mind distracted. Still, I smiled, laughed, nodded, and contributed when I needed to.
The only person who saw through my bullshit was Kyle. And God, that annoyed the hell out of me. I liked our pretend hate for one another, and him being kind and sweet to me was throwing me off. So when he tossed his napkin on the table and declared he needed to get home, I jumped at the chance to leave with him. After all, it wouldn’t look right if someone else brought me home. When Luke heard I was meeting Kyle at the restaurant, something in me had snapped and I’d quickly texted Kyle to pick me up, and of course, he’d agreed.
“I can give you a ride home later,” Candace offered.
I shook my head and waved her off. “No. Thanks, but I’m tired.”
Kyle had already slipped his credit card to the waitress and taken care of everyone’s dinner.
“Thank you for the amazing birthday dinner, you guys. I’m so glad we were all able to get together,” I said, standing when Kyle pulled out my chair.
Everyone thanked Kyle and wished us both a good night, and we hurried out of the restaurant.
Kyle pulled his SUV up to the small cottage I was staying in at my folks’ place and parked. I remained in my seat, feeling numb, unable to make myself get out.
“Do you want me to come in for a bit?” he asked.
I turned and looked at the firepit. My father had started a fire, and my breath caught when I saw Luke sitting around it with the other guests who were staying at the bed and breakfast. I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone knew who he was. He hadn’t seen us pull up, or if he had, he didn’t seem to care. He was talking to a younger couple who were roasting marshmallows over the fire.
“Bree, I know I don’t have any room to give dating advice, but don’t you think you should at least talk to him? I mean, he’s here, so that must mean something. Right?”
Drawing in a shaky breath, I looked over at Kyle. “The sensible part of my brain says yes. The other part, the scared part, says no.”
“What are you scared of?”
I dropped my head and looked down at my hands where I was twisting them in my lap. “I wish I knew. Maybe I’m scared that if I let him in, he’ll break my heart.”
“It seems to me, Bree, that your heart is already breaking.”
“Then I’m afraid he’ll shatter it. I’ve never felt this way before, Kyle. What I mean is…when I was with him, I felt so alive. Like everything in my life was complete. It was full. I’d never felt that way before about anyone. I started to dream of what a future would be like with him. Even while I was living in that stupid make-believe world. I know I can’t have that dream, and allowing him back in would only prolong everything.”
“Prolong what?”
My eyes burned from attempting to keep my tears at bay. “The end, Kyle. It will only prolong the end. I know what I want, and I can’t have the kind of life I want if I’m with Luke.”
His brows pulled in. “So it’s all or nothing for you? What a selfish thing to say.”
I jerked my head back up to look at him. My next word was barely above a whisper. “What?”
“I may not know a whole lot about relationships from personal experience, but I can tell you I’ve seen what happens when two people love one another. They sacrifice for each other. My mother and father… Do you know how many nights I remember watching my mother sit in the living room, crying because she was afraid something had happened to my father? I don’t think for one moment she ever enjoyed those nights. But she stayed by his side because she loved him.
“And my father gave up the chance to be police chief in Boston because he knew it would only cause my mother more worry and stress. It had been his dream since he was a little boy to be a police chief in a city like Boston, but he didn’t think twice about not taking the job. And look at Greer and Hudson. He moved to Boggy Creek for her.
“Sacrifice. That’s what I think of when I look at people in love. Nothing in this fucking world is supposed to come easily, Bree. Did you ever tell Luke you didn’t want to move to LA? Did you ever talk about a future with him or tell him what your dreams were? How do you even know what his thoughts might be on all of this? How do you know he wouldn’t walk away from it all for you unless you talk to him about it?”