Chapter Thirty-Four
RAVEN
Morning takesa long time to come, but finally, sunlight shines into the windows of the bare room where Janna and I are curled up on a bed. She slept through the night, unaware of the complete upheaval our lives have been through. I couldn’t sleep at all. I just kept going over the plan, trying to count the contingencies like sheep until sleep overcame me, but I was too wired up to fall asleep.
Janna’s eyelids flutter open, as if on cue. She rubs her eyes and looks around her. “Where’s my room, Mummy?”
“We had a sleepover at a friend’s house, darling.”
She frowns. “Whose house isthis?”
I touch her button nose. “Just a friend.”
She yawns and stretches, unconcerned to be waking up in a completely strange environment.
“We have to get dressed and have breakfast, okay, munchkin?”
“Are we having pancakes?”
“Again? You can’t have pancakes every day. Choose between scrambled or boiledeggs.”
She leans her face on the palm of her hand. “Scrambled,” she decides.
“Cool. And guess what we’re doing after breakfast?”
“Are we going to thepark?”
I pretend to grin. I don’t want to alarm Janna in the slightest. She needs to think we are on a great adventure. “Nope. Even better than that. We’re going on a special trip today.”
“Where to?” she asks, her face animated.
“Guess?”
“To Konstantin’s castle,” she shouts.
“That was not Konstantin’s castle I went to. I told you he rented it for the weekend.”
“But a Prince has to live in a castle.”
“Konstantin is not a Prince.”
She giggles. “He is, silly. He’s a secret prince, and you’re going to be a secret Princess,”
My heart feels as if it is breaking. “You’re the silly one, kiddo.”
“You are,” she counters immediately.
“Anyway, we’re not going to a castle.” I widen my eyes as if I’m telling her the most exciting thing in the world. “We’re going to Paris!”
Her eyes become round and her mouth opens in wonder. “Paris!”
I nod. “We have to get on a high-speed train to get there.”
“Weeeee,” she squeals excitedly. “What will we do in Paris, Mummy?”
“We can do whatever welike.”
A huge smile blooms on her face. “Is Aunty Cindy coming?” sheasks.
What will she do without her Auntie Cindy? I keep my expression bright. “Not this time, kiddo,” I say softly. “Now, let’s go get some breakfast. I can hear your stomach growling like a beast in the night.”
* * *
The same manwho picked us up in the early hours of the morning drives us to the train station. He has his radio on and none of us talk. Even Janna, which is unlike her. She seems content to look out the window, completely unaware of how terrified I am. The car comes to a stop outside St Pancras station.
“If you want I can park the car and go in withyou?”
Hearing him speak startles me. I whirl my head around to face him. His dark eyes are shiny and calm. It occurs to me to ask him for his contact number. He must know how to contact Dragan. Then I hear Dragan’s urgent voice. Any attempt to contact me will only endanger you and Janna.
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so. Thank you for your offer.”
He nods solemnly.
I grab my duffel bag and we get out of the car and he drives off. Standing at the entrance I fit Janna’s green and blue backpack on her shoulders.
“Ready?” Iask.
She nods vigorously and we walk into the station.
“Look at this place, munchkin,” I exclaim, looking up at the lofty, curving glassroof.
She gives a little skip of excitement. How lovely to be so innocent, so unaware of hurt, pain, betrayal or fear of the unknown.
I clutch my bag tightly. Everything I own in the world is in it. A fat envelope with the tickets, our new passports, cash, and bankcards with my new name on it. Kelly Moore. He didn’t tell me how much was in the account he set up, just that we’d never have to worry about money again. The thought is dizzying.
I glance down at her as we move through the crowd. She is looking ahead of her, mesmerized by so much frantic activity. I check the board of arrivals and departures to find our platform.
We walk towards the platform; Janna is quiet as she drinks in the sight of the high-speed train. She hasn’t ridden one before. We’ve never had the money for holidays, even small ones. Once we get on it and the train leaves the station, our new lives begin. We just have to pass the barrier, walk along the platform and climb up the steps into the train.
“Why are we waiting here?” Jannaasks.
I stare at the shiny new train.
Janna tugs on my arm when I don’t answer right away. “Mummy?”
I look down at her. She is staring up at me with a questioning look. “Aren’t we going into the train?”
“Yes, honey, of course weare.”
“Then why are we waitinghere?”
I stare down at her. I’m all she’s got. I’ve to put her first. I can’t be selfish. I prepare to take the first step, but my foot won’t move. I look down at Janna and smile a we’re-going-on-a-great-adventure smile. Then I straighten my spine and look up. I can do this. I have to do this. I take a deep breath. At that instant two women on the other side of the platform walk into my vision. Their entire bodies are concealed under black niqabs, nothing is visible but theireyes.
The sight is like a bolt of lightning. It is as if I have been in a daze all this while and have just wokenup.
I look down at Janna. “This is not our train, darling. I made a mistake. Our train is later. It might even be tomorrow.”
Janna makes a disappointed noise, her little face scrunching into a frown. “Awwww.”
“Don’t worry though you’re going to do something even more fun today.” Turning away from the train, and bringing her around with me, I walk briskly towards the mouth of the other platform. I slow my steps as I approach the women and smile to appear less crazy than I’m sure I’m about to sound.
“Hello,” I greet.
Both women look at each other then the younger one returns the greeting. “Good morning.” Her voice is polite, but her kohl-rimmed, dark eyes are suspicious. I guess not many strangers talk to women likeher.
I take a deep breath. “This is going to sound really insane, but you wouldn’t happen to have another headscarf you’d be willing to sell to me, wouldyou?”
She stares at me without answering. I can’t see her face to gauge her reaction to what I’ve just said, but her eyes suddenly dart to the left of me. I’m sure she’s thinking about walking away and escaping fromme.
“Please. I’m in trouble,” I plead, lowering my voice to keep from drawing Janna’s attention. “I need to cover my face. I can’t say much more than that. I’m willing to pay cash. Just name your price.”
The woman blinks her large eyes, then glances down at Janna before looking up at me again. “You … and the baby are in danger?”
I nod. “Yes. I need a way to cover myface.”
The other woman says something in Arabic. I recognize it instantly from working at the casino. The younger woman explains and the older woman stares atme.
“Why are they dressed like that, Mummy?” Jannaasks.
“It’s their religion, darling,” I say, smiling awkwardly at the older woman.
She considers me for a moment longer before nodding and pointing to the bag she is carrying and saying something else in Arabic.
“We can give you one of our spare ones,” the younger womansays.
“That’s wonderful,” I gush, reaching eagerly for my purse. “Howmuch?”
She shakes her head, her striking eyes soft with kindness. “I won’t take your money.”
Unexpectedly, my eyes fill with tears. All my life I have looked at these women in their black robes and felt they must be a different species altogether different from me. I even secretly looked down on them. They had given away their rights. And now in my hour of greatest need it is one of them who has stepped up to helpme.
“Come, I will help you put it on in the bathroom.”
She picks up her bag and we follow the two women to the restroom. While Janna watches, entranced by the two women, the younger woman opens one of their small suitcase and removes a long black robe and veil from it. She holds them out to me and I take the niqab. They smell strongly of perfume. I smile at her and she smiles back. I can tell she is by the crinkles around hereyes.
I know the word for thank you in Arabic. “Shukran,” Isay.
She smiles at me warmly. “It is a pleasure.”
“Are you sure I can’t pay you for these scarves?”
She shakes her head. “Keep your little one safe. That’s payment enough.”
Before I can say another word, she picks up her bag and both women silently leave the bathroom.
It’s only then that I realize I never asked hername.