I wake in the dark,disoriented, my heart racing from a dream I can’t really remember. After a moment, I recall where I am. In a castle on the moors. With Konstantin. I turn to search for him, but I’m alone. I sit up slowly, looking around. I’m in the living room in a warm cocoon of blankets and pillows before a dying fire. The orange embers are cooling slowly.
I sit and look around. I see him immediately.
He is sitting naked and cross-legged on the table. Moonlight from one of the tall windows falls on his blond hair making it glint. His shoulders are hunched, but his handsome face is illuminated by the moonlight pouring in from one of the high windows so I can perfectly see his expression.
I want to go to him, but I can’t.
I am stunned by the sorrow that surrounds him. It is so huge it fills the entire hall. This is the first time I’ve seen him without his guard up, without that charming façade he wears. My heart starts to hurt for him. Oh, Konstantin. What is it that troubles you so? Tell me. Let me in. Let me do something for you. Let me help you. I loveyou.
A part of me could watch him all night like this, savoring the unfamiliar sight of him so unguarded and open, but I want to comfort him if I can. I rise slowly from the blankets, not wanting to disturb him. Naked I cross the room soundlessly.
He feels my presence a few seconds before I reach him, and turns away, hiding his face from me. I lean into his back, pressing my cheek against his frozen skin. With a deep sigh, I wrap my arms aroundhim.
“I love you, Konstantin. I know it is too soon to say it. I know it could push you away for good, but it’s the truth and I want you to knowit.”
For a brief second, he tenses, his muscles solid as a rock, and then he relaxes into my embrace. The relief is palpable.
Someone loveshim.
Someone loveshim.