Stick to the plan.
Without answering, I hop in my car and drive away, all the while forcing myself not to look in the rearview mirror, to block out the memory of their voices, to ignore the breaking of my heart, to harden myself to the fact that this might be the last memory they ever have of me.
When I pull up outside Luke’s apartment, Annalisa’s already standing there. I’m almost shocked that she actually showed up since her tone wasn’t encouraging on the phone, but I’m just so relievedthat Tony decided to meet me instead of track her down—relieved that he’s nowhere near her. I pull up beside her car and cut my engine, checking the time.
Twelve minutes.
I’m cutting it close but the meeting place isn’t far from Luke’s apartment.
She’s leaning against her car when I emerge, her eyes lined with the dark eyeshadow and eyeliner that make her glaring blue eyes pop. Eyes that are apparently like Sabrina’s.
“Thanks for meeting up, Anna. This won’t take long.”
She crosses her arms across her chest. “I only came because on the phone you said it was life or death, and by your tone I believed it. But I’m still pissed at all of you.”
I have to do this quick before I chicken out. “I know, and that’s fine, and I’m about to piss you off even more, but I don’t care because you deserve the truth and I don’t have much time. I don’t know how this is going to go but I may never get the chance to tell you.” Eleven minutes.
I hold out a file, the one that’s caused so many problems. “I found this in Luke’s apartment, and I didn’t tell you because, well, a lot of reasons. But Luke thought this man, Anthony DeRosso, is your biological father. It’s a long story, but apparently he’s listed on your birth certificate as your father too.”
The angry expression on her face transforms into a confused one. She hesitates as she reaches out to take the folder, and I force my heartbeat not to speed up.
“Also, as if that wasn’t enough, my name isn’t Amelia. I’m in witness protection and my name is really Thea Kennedy. Everything about me that you knew is the same except my name. I never meant to lie to you, but I did it to keep you safe, to keep everyone safe.”
Ten minutes.
“Your father is not a good person,” I say, getting closer to her. “I wrote the name he currently goes by, Tony Derando, on the file. Google him and you’ll find everything you need to know. If I fail and he seeks you out, you need to run when you see him. Aiden knows the whole story, he can tell you more if you have more questions if I . . . if I’m not able to. But don’t get in contact with him. Don’t get near him. If you see him, run in the opposite direction. Okay, Anna? Do you understand? Promise me you’ll go nowhere near him!”
It must be my frenzied tone that causes her eyes to widen and her to quickly nod. Even though I’m probably not making any sense, I feel a bit better knowing she knows how serious this is, how much this means to me.
“Good,” I say, backing off with the intensity. “Good.”
I step backward until I reach my car, the door already open from before. I place a hand on it. “You and Char have been the best friends I could’ve asked for.”
Annalisa’s eyes narrow. “Why does it sound like you’re saying good-bye?”
Nine minutes.
“I’ve gotta go. Bye, Anna.”
Before she can say anything else, I hop in my car and pull a U-turn, glancing in my rearview mirror to see Annalisa standing there, file in her hands, staring after me with confusion.
I don’t have to go. Technically, I just warned Annalisa, and she’ll know to stay away from Tony, and then he has nothing against me. I can tell all my friends, and together we can go to the police. We’ll all be safe if we’re all together. He technically has nothing against me now, and we can avoid him. I don’t have to see him. I don’t have to meet him. But then what? Live the rest of my life on the run and in fear? Be paranoid all the time? If I go to college I can’t be transferring every two months. And what of Annalisa? Have her run too? Have her connect with Tony? No. There’s no more running and hiding and lying. I want my life back and I want it back now. I am taking control of this situation; I’m taking control of everything.
I’ve been hesitant to do this because I’ve had a hard time trusting the adults in my life lately, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m going to meet Tony, and I have no plan except part one, which was lock the boys in my room, and part two, which was tell Annalisa. Now I’m making it up as I go, so I guess part three is to call Agent Dylan. A little later than I probably should have, but it’s better than nothing.
Eight minutes.
I use Bluetooth to call Agent Dylan, and the phone’s rings are loud on my car’s speakers. With every ring that passes, my pulse beats faster and faster, and my hope that he’s actually going to answer diminishes. It goes to voice mail and I hang up my phone and redial, trying not to panic. The phone’s rings fill the car and I grip the steering wheel, praying that he’ll answer. I don’t have a plan. I don’t know what I’m doing. I should just turn the car around.
What am I doing?
Agent Dylan doesn’t answer again. I hang up and bang my hand against the steering wheel until it stings. As if I already didn’t have a reason not to trust him, he decides not to answer when it’s most important, when it’s literally life and death.
The trees are getting less sparse and the buildings are basically nonexistent. I turn onto a back road and an eeriness creeps up my spine at how alone and deserted I feel.
Seven minutes.
I should turn around. I’m literally walking complacently to my own demise right now. Yes, I want to end it, but what do I think meeting up with Tony will accomplish? I have no plan and I have no weapon. He has nothing to force me to meet him other than the promise to meet Annalisa, and Annalisa is currently not near him. What do I realistically think is going to happen when I meet him? We’ll have a tea party and a little chat and decide to go on our merry little ways?
This is plain idiocy. This isn’t me; it must be the pure panic, the helplessness, the adrenaline.
I don’t have a plan.
I’m turning around. I’m going to turn around and regroup and maybe sit in the police station for a while until I can figure my shit out. What the hell was I thinking?!
Just as I decide to turn around, something on the road catches my attention.
What’s . . .“Oh shit!”
It’s too late. I notice it too late.
I drive right over the spike strip and barely register the loud popping noise of all four of my tires over the rushing in my ears. The car spins and I have no control over righting it. The trees rush past me in a blur and my body’s thrown against the center console until the car finally comes to an abrupt stop. My head is pounding even though I didn’t bang it against anything, and I somehow register the flashing of various warning lights on my car’s dash. I blink over and over and over again, trying to sort through everything, trying to force my brain out of shock.
What just happened?
I ignore the sensors yelling at me that I have flat tires and realize my car stopped on the grass just off the road. Rubbing my forehead, I open my car door and place a foot on the ground, freezing when I look up.
Directly in front of me, on the other side of the road, is Tony.
No matter how many times I imagine him, no matter how many times I told myself I was ready for this moment, nothing could’ve prepared me for all the emotions I feel at seeing the man I’m most terrified of only a few feet away from me.
“Thea,” he says from where he stands. Not moving closer, but not needing to for me to feel threatened. The road is quiet. The line of trees behind him stand at attention. “Been a while, but I always find you, don’t I?”
He’s gloating; proud of himself. I force myself to breathe and step out of my car. It’s useless now anyway. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to run, no one to come save me.
“How long have you been in town?” I try not to let my nerves show. I need to be in control of this situation. I can’t let him affect me like he wants to.
I have no control.
“I got in this morning. My friend didn’t send me this information about you and my daughter until recently.”
This time he does move closer. Just a few steps, enough to send my heart rate up, to steal the air from my lungs.
I force words past my lips. “Well, we’re here. What now?”
He takes a step closer to me, still on the opposite side of the road, but still way too close for comfort, close enough to send shivers down my spine. I take a few steps back to put more distance between us, the tall grass coming up to my shins.
“Now?” He smiles, but it’s a malicious smile, one that I know isn’t good for me. “Now, I win.”
The look of rage on his face is one I’m familiar with, but not one I’m ever ready for. Before I can process anything, he pulls a gun from behind his back, and aims it at me.
My breath hitches. I turn to the side, trying to get away, trying to put more distance between us, when I register the sound of the gunshot. I don’t feel anything at all. Did he miss? He aimed right at me and missed? As I move, though, I realize something’s wrong. I touch the side of my chest, right under my arm, and pull my hand away to reveal blood.
I stare at my hand for a moment, words lost to me, not processing what this means.
I’ve been shot.
It doesn’t hurt. Is it supposed to hurt? I collapse to my knees on the grass.
I’ve been shot.
I’m forced onto my back and register that Tony is on top of me, straddling me. A sadistic smile is plastered on his face. He’s waited a year for this moment. He’s followed me across the country and dedicated all his time to finding me for this exact moment. To see me in pain. To end me.
I’ve been shot.
He pulls a knife from his boot and traces the tip of it lightly over my throat. “You were right before when you said we were finishing this today. I’m finishing this today.”
I’ve been shot. I’m in the middle of nowhere all alone. I’ve locked my friends in my room. I didn’t ask any adults for help. Agent Dylan didn’t pick up. The last thing I told my mom was that I’d order out for dinner. The last time Aiden looked at me was with a stoic impassiveness, like he didn’t even know me. Annalisa knows the truth, but I never got to say good-bye to Charlotte, to Chase, or to Julian. This is how it ends. It really is finishing today, and I didn’t win.
He raises his arm and I close my eyes, not wanting to see the end coming, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of watching the life drain from my eyes, when I feel a pain so intense radiating from my thigh, it makes me dizzy. A scream escapes my lips as my eyes pop open.
He holds the now bloody knife between the two of us, and the sight of it makes me sick. All I can do is gasp in pain, wishing things didn’t end like this.
“It was all worth it, just to see you like this. Suffering. To—”
There’s a blur and Tony’s weight is pulled off me, tackled to the ground beside me. I don’t bother moving, I’m too busy breathing.
Am I dying?
“So, you’re the asshole who raped my mom, huh?” The voice is new, familiar, full of rage.
The fog of shock clouding my mind clears a bit, and I register Annalisa beside me. She punches Tony in the face. I don’t know where the knife he was holding landed. I don’t know where his gun is. I don’t know how against all odds, Annalisa is here, looking like an avenging angel, all porcelain skin and dark hair and red lips and a raging expression on her face, one filled with pure, undiluted hate.
“Anna?” I ask, staring at her beside me. What is she doing here? She’s not supposed to be here.
Tony shoves her off him with a curse and pins her to the ground. Annalisa’s kicking and screaming the entire time. She claws at his face, drawing blood, and lands a bunch right on his nose, but he’s bigger, heavier, stronger, and angrier than her. He manages to get her restrained, holding her arms down and placing his knee on her chest. I try to stand, but I catch a glance of the sea of red under me and suddenly all my limbs feel heavy and the world spins, so I let my head drop back on the tall grass around me. I try not to look back at the patch of red grass slowly expanding under me, try to ignore what that means.
“Amazing,” he says, staring at Annalisa as if he’s transfixed. “Your eyes really are the exact same shade of blue as my Sabrina’s. I never got the blue eyes, but my mom had them.”
This isn’t supposed to be happening. Annalisa’s not supposed to be here. She promised me she wouldn’t go anywhere near Tony. I made sure she knew how dangerous he is. I showed her the folder, gave her all the information about him, and still, she came. She must know who he is, what he’s done, because I can see all that hate she’s radiating toward him, and yet she’s still here. I wish she wasn’t. I was supposed to either win or die alone, leaving my friends out of it. Leaving them safe.
I slowly sit up, and the realization that I can helps clear more of the clouds in my mind.
Annalisa spits at him, hitting him right in the face. “Fuck you.” She manages to kick him and topples him off balance, but he’s faster. He grabs her, and in one swift motion grabs his gun, rears back his arm, and whacks her on the top of her head with it. She collapses onto the ground, unmoving. Blood seeps from her head.
I’m paralyzed. Time freezes around me as my heart stops.
Is she . . . ? No. No. Not Annalisa. Not because of me.
“You stupid bitch,” I hear that voice say, the one that haunts my nightmares. He’s on his feet now, pointing the gun at Annalisa, lying helplessly on the ground. “You’re not my daughter.”
There’s no time to think, but suddenly everything is so clear to me. I let what feels like a lifetime’s worth of fear and rage fuel me. I’ve wasted enough of my life scared of him. I’ve lost enough hours of sleep tossing and turning from nightmares. I’ve lost enough people I love because of him. This ends now.
With all the strength I can muster, I move the few feet to him and grab his leg, pulling it out from under him. The shot goes wide, somewhere in the trees, and he lands on his back. The bang makes my ears ring, but I don’t care, I barely acknowledge it. The need to end this for good is taking me over, rising from within me and consuming every fiber of my being.
I’m going to kill him. I need to kill him. I need him dead.
I look around for the gun and see it just a few feet away. It must’ve been knocked from his hand when he fell. I reach for it but a burning pain erupts from my leg, from the one Tony stabbed, almost in the same place he stabbed me the last time I encountered him. He’s got his hand on the wound and is pressing hard, making the pain feel brand new over and over again.
“Why won’t you just die already?” he growls, and I ignore his rhetorical question, trying to kick him away from me, to get his hand away from the blood oozing out of my leg.
The gun’s out of reach; it’s so close but so far. My leg’s on fire. I’ve been shot. Annalisa needs medical attention. I don’t want to die.
I need that gun. I don’t have the strength in me to overpower Tony by myself. I need a weapon, and there’s one sitting there, taunting me, just a few feet out of reach.
I stretch my body as much as I can, still kicking at Tony with whatever strength I have, ignoring the burn of my thigh, of my chest, focusing only on my fingertips, which might as well be miles away from the gun. As I reach, something slips out of my sweater, dangling from around my neck.
My necklace.
Aiden.
I stop struggling against Tony and reaching for the gun, and instead rip my necklace from my neck. As if I’ve done it a million times, I click the button that releases the switchblade, lean over, and stab Tony right in the throat. It’s not a big blade, but it’s sharp and pierces right through.
His eyes widen and he releases his grip on my leg, letting my breath come a bit easier now that the pressure’s let up. Aiden’s not even here and he’s still saving me. I scramble away from Tony and toward the gun, and he’s on his feet, hovering over me, the small blade still in his throat, the chain dangling down his neck in the direction of a small stream of blood coming from the wound. It wasn’t big enough to kill, but was big enough to hurt him, to distract him, to give me time to get away. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I register cars crunching on the asphalt, but right now I’m focused on Tony. He reaches out to me, his face screwed up in fury as I grab the gun, look him right in the eye, and shoot him in the chest. I pull the trigger two more times. Then a third.
He stops in his tracks and it’s like time is paused, as he’s suspended there, our gazes clashing, until he collapses in a heap, unmoving. I release a shaky exhale and drop the gun with equally shaky hands, as if I just realized it was me who pulled the trigger, me who stopped Tony in his tracks, me who created the pool of blood slowly forming around Tony’s body. It’s huge, much larger than the one from my leg or from my side. I’m too busy trying to breathe to actually make sense of anything that’s going on.
Annalisa’s still lying on the ground, her eyes closed and face serene, almost like she’s taking a nap. I use the last of my adrenaline to crawl over to her and collapse on my back beside her.
The sounds of cars are louder now. I find Annalisa’s hand on the ground and grasp it in mine without looking at her. She came for me. She may have been mad at me, she may have thought the worst of me, but in the end, she had my back. She saved me from Tony’s killing blow. I’d be dead if not for her.
As I stare up at the blue sky, my eyes focusing and unfocusing on the random smattering of clouds, I swear I hear my name being called.
“Thea! Thea!”
It must be my imagination, because it sounds just like Aiden, but not like Aiden. My Aiden is confident, his voice unwavering and deep and commanding the attention of everyone around him. This Aiden doesn’t sound like that. This Aiden sounds frantic. Desperate.
As the edges of my vision become blurrier and the feel of Annalisa’s hand in mine weakens, the sound of Aiden’s voice gets louder, closer maybe. I don’t even get to answer him before I give in to the darkness.