23
Today’s Sunday. I asked Mason if he wanted to come over later so I can break the news in private, but he said he had plans with his dad today, which makes me cringe. Maybe today’s the day Brian will tell Mason and that’s why they have plans. I hope Brian’s the one to tell him, that he does the right thing.
Instead, I call Charlotte. With everything that happened, I haven’t had time to ask her about what happened between her and Chase when he drove her home from Aiden’s last week, so she gives me the rundown.
Basically, he told her he was sorry for what he said, and he realizes that he can’t tell her what to do and has to let her live her life. Charlotte forgave him and she says they’ve made up, but she feels like they’ll never really be the same again because he’ll never be completely okay with not being with her.
She said they were okay with each other at school in their shared classes and at lunch, too, acting normal and joking around like always, which she feels proves they’ve put the whole incident at the party behind them. But he’s stopped calling her Charlie, and for some reason that hurts even me. It’s like he knows that version of Charlotte will never be his again, and he realizes that he has to move on.
She feels bad, but she doesn’t love him like that. She’s just glad she doesn’t have to lose one of her best friends. I’m not sure she’d know how to handle losing Chase entirely. Hopefully, one day a girl will come along who loves Chase just as fiercely as he loves her, and Charlotte will be so incredibly happy for him because he deserves it. I only hope I’ll be around to see it.
After our call, I have nothing else to do all day, leaving my mind to wander, which doesn’t do it any good. Instead of spinning the wheels of my brain, I hop in my car just before sundown and go to the gym since I haven’t been in a while. Getting back to the gym will be good for me. It’ll help me think. Do I tell Annalisa about my past and Tony? Do Aiden and I tell our friends about Jason and Jackson? Is Agent Dylan really hoping I draw Tony out? These are the things going through my mind as I drive, taking the back roads so I have extra time to think.
As I drive, I spot a familiar red Mustang ahead of me on the road. My chest tightens. I haven’t seen Ryan since he left a bruise on my wrist.
It has to be him, right? What are the odds of that specific car with those modifications being on this road? As I’m staring at it, the car slows down and I make out a flash of blond, and watch, stunned, as the car drives away.
Did he just kick Kaitlyn out of his car?!
There’s no way that just happened. It has to be a trick of the eyes. But as I slow down, the shape of a girl is illuminated by my headlights. She rises from the ground and dusts herself off, or as well as she can with one arm in a sling.
Holy shit.It really is Kaitlyn. He really did push her out of a moving vehicle.
I pull up beside her but before I can roll down my window, she glances at me and starts walking back to town.
Does she know it’s me? Should I just keep going? I want to see if she’s okay and needs a ride back, but as I’m about to roll down my window, I pause. After everything she’s done to me, does she deserve kindness? What she’s put me through flashes through my mind: the humiliation, the threats, the bullying. Would she do the same thing for me if the roles were reversed? I think it over for a couple seconds.
Screw it. She can walk back to town.
Without giving myself time to change my mind, I start to drive again, but there’s a gnawing feeling in my stomach.
Don’t look in the rearview mirror. Just keep driving, Amelia. Don’t you do it.
I look in the rearview mirror.
It looks like she’s limping but trying to keep her head held high as the sun sets around her.
“Damn it.”
I make a U-turn and pull up beside her on the opposite side of the road. My car comes to a crawl, keeping pace with her as she heads back to town, but she refuses to look at me.
“Hey, do you need a ride?” I call from my open window.
She looks at me for the first time. The makeup streams down her cheeks, making her healing black eye look black again.
“Great. Of course it’s you.” She looks away from me and continues marching forward. “Go away.”
The devil on my shoulder’s talking to me now. See? She doesn’t want your help. Just leave her. It’s karma.
I shake the thoughts from my head and take in a steadying breath.
I’m better than this.
I pull over on the side of the road and turn off my car. Kaitlyn doesn’t slow her pace, so I hop out and jog to catch up to her. “Wait up!”
She glances back at me then looks straight ahead again. “Do you not understand English? I said to leave me alone.”
When I catch up to her my legs match her stride, but she still doesn’t take her focus off the horizon in front of her. I say, “I understand English perfectly. I just have a history of not doing what I’m told.”
“So if I told you not to jump off that bridge over there?”
“Ha-ha.” I jog around to stand in front of her and force her to stop by blocking her path. “Are you okay?”
She rubs the back of her good hand over her eye, smudging her makeup even more in the process. “Do I look okay? Wow, how does Aiden have a conversation with you?”
She shoves me to the side and continues walking, and I stand there staring after her.
I get it. We’re not friends and I’m probably the last person she wants to accept help from. But she’s hurting and lashing out. Well, actually, who knows if this is her lashing out? So far it’s been a pretty standard Kaitlyn interaction. But either way, I’m going to at least try to help.
“Okay, you don’t need to talk to me. But I can at least drive you home.” I chase after her again, matching her stride.
She scoffs. “I don’t need your help.”
I glance at the limp she’s trying to hide. “You were literally just pushed out of a moving car.”
She stops walking and turns to face me. The perfect version of herself she shows the world has cracked. I can tell she’s trying really hard to hold it together and muster up as much bitchy energy as she can to intimidate me, but it’s kind of hard when she’s all scraped up and her makeup’s running down her face.
“Why won’t you just leave me alone?! Does this make you happy? Seeing me like this? Are you getting off on seeing mean old Kaitlyn all beaten up?”
“What? Am I here making fun of you? I’m trying to help.”
“I don’t need your help!” she practically yells in my face. She turns away from me, but the tears she’s trying to hide are clear to me.
“Kaitlyn.” I don’t know where to start. “You don’t have to go through this alone. You don’t need to stay with Ryan.”
“Ryan is my boyfriend.” She sniffles, still not looking at me.