“Ya know, today would be a good day to tell everyone about us,” Shea murmured as if he knew what Christian was thinking.
“No, no it wouldn’t.” Christian snorted.
Shea frowned at him. “Why not? Everyone will be there, and you will only have to say it once.”
“They don’t even know that I’m gay. I can’t just come out with, “Hey, guess what? Shea’s my boyfriend,” Christian said, incredulously.
Shea scrubbed an aggravated hand over his short hair. “I just don’t understand why you don’t tell them.” He grunted.
“Because, Shea, if they decide that they can’t handle me being gay and don’t want me in their lives, that will be the end of me,” Christian said quietly.
He would not be able to live without his brothers and family, he knew that for a fact.
“Do you even know your own brothers? They will not disown you for being gay, Christian,” Shea argued.
“I’m just not ready, alright?” Christian sighed.
“You always say that. Are you ever going to be ready?” Shea asked with a disgusted snort.
“Dammit, Shea! You don’t understand! You have nothing to lose! Your family is gone!” Christian snapped, wishing immediately that he could take it back.
Shea’s face hardened and he sent Christian a cold glare. “Your family is my family, so I would lose them, too, if they decided to disown you - which they won’t - so I have plenty to lose,” he replied bitterly.
Christian nodded in agreement, acknowledging Shea was right about him being an honorary Beck.
“You’re right, but today is not the day,” Christian said tightly as they pulled up Henry’s long driveway.
Shea parked and Christian moved to open the door, but Shea grabbed his arm. Christian turned to look at him, his heart dropping into his stomach when he saw the sad look on Shea’s face.
“I’m giving you a week. If you don’t tell them by the end of next week, then I’m done. I will pack up my shit and leave,” Shea said, his voice low and serious.
Christian’s eyes widened slightly. “You don’t mean that,” he hissed.
Shea let him go. “Try me. I love you, Chris, but I’m not willing to live in hiding my whole life.”
“You can’t be serious.” Christian frowned.
Shea shook his head. “I don’t want to hide anymore. This party is going to suck for me because I have to keep my distance from you, act like I’m not in love with you. It’s fucking ridiculous, Christian. We’ve been together for five months, and I plan to spend forever with you, so your family is going to have to find out sooner or later.”
Christian felt his panic rise. Shea was serious. Not that he didn’t have a point, his family was going to have to find out sooner or later, but why couldn’t it be later? Like maybe after he was dead and in the ground?
“Please, Shea, not today,” Christian pleaded softly.
“One week, Christian,” he muttered then got out of the truck.
Christian watched the love of his life walk up the front steps of Henry’s house and disappear through the door. What the fuck was he going to do? How could Shea make him choose like this? How could he be so sure that Christian’s family would be okay with it? There were so many questions and emotions running through Christian’s head. Shea was right about one thing, though - this party was going to suck.
Shea prayed to god that Christian didn’t call his bluff, because honestly, he didn’t think he could leave him if he decided not to tell his family that he was gay. Shea only wanted to light a fire under his ass and he hoped it didn’t backfire on him. Shea was thinking that Henry, Sebastian, and Quinn already suspected Christian was gay; they had made a few odd comments that last few times that he’d seen them.
Shea left Christian in the truck, stunned, and went into Henry’s very large, very gorgeous house. No one seemed to be inside, so he walked through and went out the back door.
“Shea!” a few people called, happily.
Quinn was the first to greet him and hand him a beer. “Hey, man, where’s your other half?”
Shea chuckled. “He’s coming.”
“Shea, my brotha from another motha!” Sebastian exclaimed and gave him a man hug, which consisted of a handshake and a shoulder bump.
“Hey, Sebastian,” greeted Shea.
“There he is,” Quinn said, making Shea turn to look as Christian walked out the back door.
Shea felt a twinge of guilt as he caught the sallow complexion on Christian’s face. It was his fault that he looked like that after all. His anxiety was probably through the roof right now. Shea almost went to him to tell him that he was taking back everything he just said, but he needed to stay strong because Christian needed this push. Christian’s eyes met his and mixture of emotions in them broke Shea’s heart - angry, confused, desperate, hurt, and lost. Shea wished he could just pull the man into his arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but he couldn’t, not in front of all of these people, and not when Christian was so adamant about not saying anything today.