After a couple minutes, Quinn realized that it was going to be a long call. So instead of sitting there brooding, he decided to get the hell out of there. He shoved off his stool, slammed his pencil onto the ledge of the table and stormed out of there. He caught Margot's amused look as she watched him leave. No doubt she was talking about him with whoever she was talking to. Quinn felt the sudden urge to scream, but he swallowed it. Damn her! Quinn got a few quizzical looks from fellow co-workers as he stomped down the hallway. He needed air. He pushed through the office doors and out to the lobby where the elevators were. He'd take a long lunch and maybe by the time he got back, he'd be calm and Margot would be done with her phone call.
Chapter 7
Sebastian hated funerals. He hated wearing a suit. He hated all the crying and wailing. He hated everything about them. But he had to go. It was Victoria's funeral. His family insisted on going with him. Every single one of them. Henry and Claire. His parents. Even Quinn and Christian. He was touched. And glad that they were there for him when he needed them. And he was glad that he hadn't had to ask for the support he so desperately needed and couldn't find the voice to ask for.
After the viewing and mass, everyone headed to the cemetery. Standing there, beside her grave, Sebastian found it hard to breath. His mother was holding his right hand while Claire clung to his left arm. Henry - who was next to Claire - had his hand on Sebastian's shoulder. He and his family stood on one side of the grave, while her family stood on the other side. Her mother couldn't even stand. She was sitting in a folding chair, clutching Victoria's favorite stuffed rabbit that she had kept on their bed when they were together. She never went anywhere without it. So when they went to her hotel room to gather her things, it was there.
After the priest did his thing, they started lowing the casket. Sebastian felt like his heart was being ripped out all over again. His throat closed and his eyes stung. He couldn't hold back the ragged sob that tore out of him. He clapped his left hand over his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. He had loved Victoria with all his heart at one time and nothing prepared him for seeing her body being lowered into the ground.
His mother's arms wrapped around his waist and he instinctively hugged her to him. His father gripped his right shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Henry was doing the same on his other side. Sebastian wished Raelynn was here with him right now. He could really use her comfort right about now.
When all was said and done, Sebastian and his family left the cemetery. He wasn't going to go to the luncheon. He couldn't sit there with her family and their accusatory glares. He knew they thought that her death was his fault. That much was obvious. He had gone to Jared the day after her death and every day for the past three days and was slowly understanding that it really wasn't his fault. But he would never get her family to understand that.
Sebastian walked into his apartment. Henry had dropped him off after he said he just wanted to be alone. He yanked the knot of his tie and pulled it over his head. After tossing it on the counter he worked open the buttons of the stiff white collar. He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it over the back of a stool. Sebastian went to the bottom cabinet of the island that he used as a liquor cabinet and pulled out the unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.
Foregoing a glass, Sebastian took the bottle into the living room and sat in his brown leather recliner. He planned on drinking himself stupid. He wanted to forget everything for one night. He needed to if he wanted to keep his sanity. He needed to sleep without dreaming. He had woken up with more nightmares in the past few days then he has in his entire 33 years of life. And it was the kind of nightmares that had him screaming and panting and sweating. Then he'd be awake for hours, afraid to fall back to sleep. Jared said he had PTSD. No surprise there.
About 3/4 through the bottle, Sebastian was feeling nice and numb. His mind was blissfully blank...although the room was swaying beneath him. He was actually surprised that he hadn't passed the fuck out yet. That was coming soon though, he could feel it. He needed to make a call before he passed out though. He struggled to get his phone out of his pocket. When he finally did, he found the number he wanted and hit the call button.