“I wish you would refrain from calling my beloved by that insulting term Joshua.”
“Sorry sis, come on douchebag we’re going to the diner.”
“Woot, Waffle sundaes Mattie my man, it’s good to have you back among the living.” The fool jumped over the steps and sprinted towards the garage. Had everyone been waiting for me to get my head out of my ass? Josh and Carrie ran to get dressed while I worked the kinks out of my shoulders and neck. It would be the first time I’d ventured past the property line in a while. With all the laughter and clowning around I realized that the house had been quiet in the last few weeks.
Life went on of course but I’m only now noticing that the usual rowdiness in the Steele mansion had been damn near nonexistent lately, all because they were giving me time and space to get my shit together. I waited in the garage with Nessa and Andrew until Josh and Carrie came back down. There was something I needed to say, something I hadn’t said in way too long.
“I love you lil brother.” I hugged my brother around the neck and kissed his head causing him to gut punch me in return.
“I love you too you ass, now let’s go see who can out eat the douche.”
“You Steele boys are all talk, you can’t take me, tell them babe.”
Nessa just rolled her eyes and gave me a silent hug I guess she’d missed her big brother too.
We all started piling into my Escalade after yelling through the house intercom to the parents that we were going. They’re another pair always locked away behind closed doors; and what the fuck am I thinking? I used to love that about my parents, the fact that with so many of my friends having weekend dads mine couldn’t keep his hands off my mom. Damn I really have become an asshole.
Josh kissed Carrie outside the back passenger door like he was going off to war before letting her in the back with Vanessa and Andrew and climbing up front with me.
“You sure you can tear yourself away? It’s a good ten minutes to the diner I wouldn’t want you to go through withdrawals.”
“Suck it douche and let’s go.”
I grinned widely after cuffing his shoulder; my way of letting him know his brother was back or at least partially.
The town looked strange which made no sense since I’ve lived here my whole life, but somehow it was like seeing it through new eyes. I guess I was going to have to get used to seeing it through the eyes of the new me. I’d been part of a couple for so long that being solo felt hella strange. I figure it was going to take some time getting used to being alone. As young as we were I’d already been settled in with the nut, all my plans had included or involved her in some way. Now I was going to have to get used to going it alone. The thought of finding someone else and building a relationship left me cold, sad but true. The calendar might say I was close to my nineteenth birthday but my soul felt like it was reaching the century mark. I fought back the negative feelings that threatened to crawl up my throat. This was a new beginning, the first time I’d been out of the house in forever; I’ll just take small steps and see where they led me. One thing was for certain, Josh was right, there was no way I was giving her anymore of me.
The diner was packed as was to be expected on a weekend morning in the summer. With school out and the weather nice for a change the parking lot was overcrowded. I hadn’t seen anyone since the news broke about Patti and her part in what had happened to Carrie. And though my brother and father not to mention Carrie’s own dad who was a cop had kept the more sinister details out of the public domain, what had leaked was still bad enough. I felt the shame of it wash over me and fought that too as I schooled myself to face whatever was coming. Everyone knew us as a couple, how could they not? Will they hold me responsible? Will I see accusations in the eyes of old friends or pity? Fuck that I’m not going back there in my head.
“The first fucker that says anything about that shit to me is getting his ass kicked.” I looked at Josh who grinned and nodded at me.
“I’ve got your back bro.”
I turned the jeep off and climbed out into the warm sunshiny day. I’ve always had a rep as a badass while my brother had been known as the quiet brainy guy who didn’t really mix. I guess he proved them wrong in the last few months. I’m proud as fuck of him though for the way he took care of his girl. The no holds barred way he’d gone after her. True love in Technicolor, too bad the same isn’t in the works for me. Let it go Matt just let it the fuck go.