“Uh-uh Kadyn, from now on this is us, get used to it.” I wanted her dad to see us together, to know that his little girl had a man in her life; well I’m sure he’ll see me as a boy, but that was good enough. The place was doing a steady morning business when we walked in. Some people did a double take when they saw us together but no one said anything, which was good because the mood I was in I might not have made a very good impression on old man Stan.
He was one of the first to notice our entrance and I didn’t miss the little taken aback look he had on his face as he looked at our clasped hands. “Go sit over there babe let me talk to your dad for a minute.” I pointed her to a stool at the counter. She only gave me a worried look for all of a second before moving to obey me. Again my tone didn’t leave room for argument.
I walked over to her father who was looking from her to me and back, I couldn’t quite peg the expression on his face, but at least it wasn’t anger. “You okay with this Stan?” I didn’t need to explain my question he knew what I was asking. It wouldn’t matter so much to me whether he was or not, but I got the sense that they were close and anything I could do to make her life easier was fine by me.
“With what exactly son?” He seemed a little worried as he looked over at her again.
“With me dating your daughter, I’m only asking because it seems like the polite thing to do, but I think I should warn you, it’s a done deal.” He seemed deep in thought for a good five minutes before turning back to me.
“Son there’re things that…”
“I know, she told me there’s something in her past, she’s not ready to go into detail as yet but when she is I’m here. I just wanted you to know that when she’s not here from now on that she’s with me.”
“Matthew that little girl has been through a lot…”
“I know it, I can sense it from what little she did share, I’m telling you that I’m solid.”
“But you don’t even know each other, not really.”
“I know enough.” I opened myself up enough to let him get a glimpse of what was inside of me, something that I never would’ve done for anyone else, but for her it was easy.
He saw what I needed him to I guess because his shoulders relaxed and I saw the beginning of a smile touch his face. Good, that was settled. We shook on it and I went back to her. “Give me your phone.” I put my number in her phone and then added hers to mine. “I’ll call you later, if you need me before then just call, I mean it Kadyn, any time okay?” She nodded mutely and looked at me with sad eyes. Looks like she didn’t want to be parted either, that was a good sign. I kissed her forehead and said my goodbyes before walking away. It felt like I was leaving my soul behind; weird fucking feeling to have for a girl that I had only just met.
I kept silent on the drive home my mind going over the last few hours in minute detail. I needed to move but my hands were tied. I’d given my word but was now wondering if that had been the right move. I could feel Josh studying me in the rearview as he drove but he didn’t push. The others kept up a running conversation about bullshit as I watched the scenery go by. There was a place in my heart that not too long ago had felt empty, charred. Now it was full and hopeful, I could feel the underlying sense of joy that comes with new beginnings. Like something new and exciting was about to unfold, there was only one thing standing in the way of that and I had to figure out how to remove that obstacle.
Chapter 13
When we reached the house I went straight to my room, it was only there behind closed doors that I could let my mask drop. With my fists folded I prowled around my room like a caged animal, my heart beating an odd staccato. When I found no solace in pacing I reverted to my old fateful, lying on my bed tossing a ball up in the air. Nothing worked; my mind would not give me any peace. Something dark was crawling up my chest, itching at my throat; I was about to snap.
“Is this why we had to cut our day short, so you could come home and mope in your room? What gives bro?” I should’ve known he wouldn’t leave it alone.