“Good for you, baby,” Drake said softly, proud of her for standing up for herself.
If anything she looked more miserable. And . . . sad. What the fuck?
She lifted glossy eyes to his. Lifeless, dull eyes that stole the air from his lungs because she looked so unhappy and resigned.
“But you did share me with Manuel,” she whispered. “Just, apparently, as you’ve shared your other women with him. What I thought was special was nothing more than something you’ve done dozens of times in the past. I thought that I was doing something solely for you. I wanted to do something that was just for you. For your pleasure. That wasn’t about me. How you must have laughed over the idea that I was doing something special for you. It was humiliating to see that knowing look on that woman’s horrid face. How smug and confident she was that I’d soon be replaced and was nothing more than another woman in a long line of women you have sex with.”
Drake damn near exploded on the spot. It took every measure of control he possessed not to completely flip out, but that would only scare the shit out of her and the last thing he wanted was for her to fear him. Ever. God. Not Evangeline. He cultivated a healthy dose of fear in everyone else, even the women he involved himself with. He had no problem with them knowing if they ever crossed him they’d pay dearly. But Evangeline was the one person on the planet that it would kill him if she feared him. He wanted her trust. Her absolute faith in him that he would never hurt her.
His hands were shaking with fury. Not at Evangeline. Never at Evangeline. He could well understand the source of her upset now that the story had come out. How to explain the difference between her and all the other women he’d fucked? He wasn’t even sure he could explain it to himself, much less anyone else.
He reached for her hands, carefully prying them apart and twining them with his so he held them in her lap.
“Angel, look at me.”
Though he said it in a tender voice, it was a command nonetheless.
With seeming reluctance and a good degree of embarrassment, she lifted her chin until her sad eyes connected with his.
“If you don’t think what I have—what I feel—with you and for you is very different than what I’ve had or felt for any other woman, then you’re wrong. Yes, Manuel has participated on occasion when I’ve had sex with another woman, though not often. But the difference is, no other woman has ever wanted to do something so selfless as to ask me what I want and express her desire to do something solely for me. It’s always been about them. Their wants, their needs. They could give a damn about mine. Manuel’s involvement was to a degree for me because it’s something I enjoy, but mostly it was at the women’s behest and, trust me, their attention was focused entirely on Manuel. They didn’t give me one thought, never looked at me. My name wasn’t on their lips. They never looked to me for approval or permission. They never set aside their own pleasure for mine and they certainly didn’t torment themselves worrying that by experiencing pleasure, by orgasming with another man that they somehow were betraying me.”
He took a breath, allowing his words to sink in. She looked startled and cocked her head to the side as she rapidly processed all he was saying.
“Only you, Angel. Only you did and thought those things. Only you did it as a gift to me without one thought of yourself. If you don’t think that means anything to me, that you aren’t special to me and you’re just another woman I’ve fucked, then I’m doing things all wrong with you and obviously we need to have a very long, serious talk.”
She looked shocked, color high in her cheeks, her eyes wide as she studied every nuance of his expression as if discerning his sincerity.
“And you know what else, Angel? You were spot on when you said I’d never share anything I really considered mine, and no, I never considered those women mine. You, however, are mine in every possible way. You belong to me. I own you. And I’m never fucking letting you go.
“I realize that sounds contradictory since Manuel has been over—twice—and you did have sex with him at my behest, but Angel, that wasn’t me sharing you,” he said softly, loosening his hold on one hand so he could lift his to cup and caress her cheek. “That was you sharing something infinitely precious with me. For me. And believe me when I say, that makes you more special to me than any other woman has been or ever will be.”