“No, no, no!” Panic consumes me when I come up empty. Ears pricked; I search fruitlessly until I hear the faint but distinct rumble of an engine roar to life. I leap in the direction of it and run down an alley before I round the corner. It’s there I slam into an invisible wall when I’m met with a silver stare. Dominic leans against Sean’s Nova, his arms crossed as he drinks me in. Sean spots me from where he stands on the opposite side of the car, taking one last look at me across the hood before he climbs in the driver’s seat. My gaze drifts back to Dominic as his eyes trail me from head to foot. Heart lurching, I take a tentative step forward, and he jerks his head, refusing me.
“Please,” I whisper, knowing he can clearly read the plea on my lips as my tears fall rapidly. Emotions reflect in his silver eyes as he lets me in fully, his fingers twitching at his sides. I know he wants to erase the space, to erase the water pouring between us.
“Please,” I beg, unable to handle the ache. “Please, Dom, please don’t go,” I cry out to him. I can feel the struggle in his refusal as he slowly shakes his head in reply. It’s his eyes, not his posture that conveys the most. In his gaze I see longing, regret, and resentment for our collective positions. And it’s enough. It has to be.
I hadn’t imagined his affection for me. I hadn’t imagined a minute we spent together. No one can cheapen or dismiss what we had. No one. And I won’t ever let anyone take it away from me.
But I get no assurances from either of them as I stand there—bleeding out, and that’s what terrifies me the most.
Dominic tugs at the handle behind him and opens the door while Sean keeps his gaze trained forward, either to grant us this time or because he can’t look at me any longer. It brings me no comfort. I drink in Dominic one last time and let him see my tears, my love. Covering my chest with both hands, I close my eyes and mouth the truth.
“I love you.”
It’s when I open them that I see his raw reaction to my confession. He takes a step forward, his face marred with indecision a second before he snaps our connection and joins Sean in the car. And in the next breath, they disappear.
It’s then I know whatever battle they fought to keep me in, they lost.
And ‘one day’ may never come.
There’s a scene in one of the Twilight movies where Bella remains unmoving in a chair—riddled in heartbreak—while staring out the window watching the seasons pass before her eyes. And on my balcony, as the trees shed and deaden before giving new life to fresh blooms, I realized I’d lived the past three seasons of my life much the same way she did when she was deserted by love.
Love may have had its way with me last summer, but when the first snow began to drift toward the ground, it was my hate that grew. Hatred for a nameless man who took a large part of my happiness away by putting me in a state of exile.
Now when I ache for those that deserted me, I replace it with loathing for the fire-eyed man who gave an executive order to keep me in my respective place—which is nowhere.
The holidays came and went, and I went home. I spent winter break with my mother and Christy, all the while nursing my shattered heart, a heart filled to the brim with love without a soul to shower it on. And not once in that time did I regret a minute with either of them.
I was thankful.
I was grateful.
I knew myself better because of that experience with them. It wasn’t just a summer but a season of discovery. I assume most people go through life never exploring themselves as in-depth as I did. Those days of lust-filled trysts and nights I spent with my lovers beneath a canopy of green trees and twinkling stars reshaped me.
As the minutes, hours, days, and months passed, I didn’t spring back to life. I simply went through the motions.
I kept my memories close, until one day, I forced myself to start living again. School was easy, and my job was made easier the closer I got with Melinda and a few others in the night crew. None of the brotherhood spoke to me—none of them. Whether in town at a gas pump, or a chance meeting anywhere else, I was invisible to those who had the marking. I hadn’t just lost my boys, I’d lost my friends too, including Layla, and everyone else associated with the brotherhood.
The bastard kept his promise. I’ve been completely on my own.
The more time that passes, the more I decide I’m better off. Any communication or association with anyone related to Sean and Dominic would only give me hope of a future that isn’t coming.
At the end of spring, I’ve successfully completed my first two semesters of college with a near-perfect GPA and am now on the last leg of my year working for my father. I’m three-quarters of the way to honoring our deal with only a few months to go.
One summer left in Triple Falls, and I will be free of Roman Horner and my obligations to him, and my mother will be financially set.
Freedom is close.
Roman hasn’t returned from Charlotte since our last exchange, and I don’t expect him to. He hasn’t so much as made an effort past a weekly email. As I suspected, he never lived here. If anything, this house seems to have been blueprinted as a shrine to his success.
By this summer’s end, I’ll no longer have to deal with the lingering anxiety about a possible face to face. Not only that, but I’ll also have a large portion of his fortune signed over to me, and our ties will be severed.
Oddly enough, I’m in no hurry to flee Triple Falls.
The town and its people have grown on me. I no longer mind the monotony of my workdays. But now that the semester is over, my days off are my own again, and filling them is becoming a hard task.
I’ve been spending them wisely.
I hike and often. Never on the trails that Sean took me to, I’m no longer a masochist in that sense. But I’ve grown stronger, my muscles no longer screaming after long treks in the woods and up mountain cliffs. I’ve brushed up on my French with my app, determined to eventually spend my summers abroad with the aid of a flush bank account. And now that the temperature has stopped lingering on brisk, I’ve resumed sunning, swimming, and reading out in Roman’s courtyard.