He bites his lip in contemplation and I glare at him.
I gesture toward the phone resting between his thighs. “That’s not your phone.”
“Never was.” With the quick workings of his hands, he pulls the SIM card out and snaps it in half.
“So, you all are like fucking outlaws or something?”
“Or something.”
“All of you?”
“Everyone with the bird was invited to the party. And they can all keep a secret. If they can’t…they can’t party. And probably never will again.”
I shake my head, unbelieving of the truth.
“I don’t know you at all, do I?”
“You know me,” he swears and moves toward me, but I jerk away from his advance. In the dim cabin, the slight sting of rejection shines in his eyes as he curses and fists his hands at his sides before turning back to me.
“You know me,” the gentle timbre of his voice has my eyes watering. “You know my mind and my heart. You know me. I made sure of it. But this is my world, our world, and if you want in, you have another decision to make.”
Sean speaks up, jerking me out of my reverie. “I can see I’ve blown your mind again. And not in a good way.” His tone is mournful, and I know he sees the battle I’m fighting. He’s put me in a dangerous position with his explanation, but he’s also left the door wide open on the other side of it for a quick escape. The problem is, I can’t even look at the threshold, because it means losing him. Knowing nothing about the party is my saving grace. I can walk away now, no ties. Merely aware of their existence but with nothing that incriminates me.
He runs a knuckle along my wobbling chin, and I look up to see we’re parked in his driveway. I’ve been so lost in my thoughts I didn’t follow his route home.
“I thought you were taking me home?”
“I didn’t tell you which home.”
“You’re a good liar.”
“You’re a terrible one.” His beautiful chest bounces. “And you don’t really want to go home.”
He reaches for me again and I shy away from his touch because it will draw me further in. Right now, I’m toeing a very dangerous line in some sort of alternate reality.
“Cecelia, I tried to ease you into this the best way I could. I had to be able to trust you.”
“I still don’t know anything.”
“And that kept you safe from your involvement and all that it implied. But from this point forward, your decision changes that.”
Chin set, he looks over to me. “I have a lot to lose, too.” He turns his head, looking out the window and I swear I hear “more,” muttered under his breath. He rests his head back on the seat and sighs before his head lolls back my way, his expression weary. “You’ll go crazy trying to figure it out. Everything we do, we do for good reason. If you choose to stay, a lot of your questions will be answered over time. But everybody at the party has to earn their place. No exceptions.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Not tonight, and not until you’ve made your decision. And even then, I can’t guarantee I’ll answer. Come on, let’s get some sleep.” He cuts the engine and gets out of his car. I follow him silently into his house and up the stairs to his bedroom. Everything has changed, every part of my involvement. I must be a willing participant in whatever comes next, or I have to walk away from him. I can feel the weight of my decision already weighing heavy on my heart.
When he closes the bedroom door, he pulls off his shirt and slips off his boots.
I’m too exhausted from the crash of adrenaline to fight, and he clearly is as well as he unbuckles his jeans and shoves them off, along with his boxers. The sight of him naked has my fingers itching to touch, my blood pulses more rapidly, but inside all I feel is dread.
I’m already more than halfway in love with this man and walking away will break my heart. He watches me carefully, no doubt reading my thoughts and then goes down the hall into his bathroom, leaving the door open, before turning on the shower.
An invitation.
Another decision.
I follow, shut the door, strip bare and join him. He draws me to him, kissing me for long minutes. Back in his room, we’re silent when we towel off and I pull on one of his T-shirts before slipping into bed, into his waiting arms.