“But whatever choices I make, I work with, with little regret, no matter the consequence.”
“That sounds…dangerous.”
Another beat of silence.
“It can be.”
AFTER OUR PICNIC, WE DOZED off on the blanket. I’m the first to wake on Sean’s chest where he lays now, sprawled out on his back, hands tucked behind his head, eyes closed, breathing deep and even as I quietly pack up the containers and scrape my hands free of debris.
Cleaning up is the least I could do. It’s been the perfect birthday, though some of his truth stung a little. If I’m interpreting him right, he’s not the boyfriend type, or the commitment type, though his actions in the last few weeks of knowing him have been contradictory. He’s still a mystery even though we’ve spent a good amount of time together. But it’s no longer my need to define us that has me staring down at him in wonder. It’s the ache, the throb, the need to get closer that has me studying the definition of his biceps, the muscular expanse of his chest. My fingers itch at my sides to trace the ring glistening on his lush mouth. It’s my tongue that’s eager to trace the Adam’s apple at his throat. I want him, in the worst fucking way, and I find myself resenting him for the fact that I’m this strung out, while he seems completely at ease.
I pull off my top, leaving on my sports bra and bring it to the cascading water drenching my shirt before I wipe off the sweat and dirt I collected on our hike. Sean lays content on the blanket as I brush myself down all the while imagining what it would be like to touch him the way I want to, to kiss and be kissed by him.
He says he’s a man who takes what he wants, who follows his gut with little regret and doesn’t worry about the consequences. I wonder how he would feel if I were to be so bold with my body’s current demand. I resume my seat on the blanket, just watching.
I’m creepy. Right now, I’m the creepy girl watching him sleep. I turn away, heat flushing my cheeks as I run a hand down my face. We’re completely alone. Did he want it that way? But we’ve been alone before, many times.
My head says don’t embarrass yourself, but I decide to take his advice. In one swift move, I straddle him, lean down, and tentatively run my tongue along his lip ring.
His reaction is instant, his hand shoots up and grips the back of my head as he lifts and holds me just an inch away, running his nose along mine, as my breath catches. His eyes penetrate as he drinks in the look on my face, his voice filled with pure lust when he finally speaks. “Took you long enough.” Then his mouth is on mine, his groan filling me as he thrusts his tongue past my lips, kissing me so deep, wetness floods my core. Mouth never leaving mine, he flips us easily, transitioning me so I’m on my back. As he tugs at the button on my shorts, his erection presse
s into my hip while he slowly pulls down my zipper. Utterly confused by his fast pace and his reaction to my kiss, I open for him, his hot mouth drawing me in. He rips his lips away and moves a hand between my shorts and panties, one finger gliding along my clit. Mouth parted, he hypnotizes me with that lone finger, moving it slowly up and down.
Up and down.
The pad of his finger alone sends shockwaves throughout my body as he pulls away, and gazes down at me with crippling intensity.
A loud moan erupts as he keeps his touch feather-light, and I grip his hand, urging him for more, bucking my hips for friction.
“Please,” I whisper. “Please.”
“No fucking way, I’m taking my time. You took yours.”
“I didn’t know that’s what you wanted.”
“The hell you didn’t. I was letting you make the decision.”
“You were,” my eyes roll back with the next stroke of his finger, “waiting for me?”
“I wanted you sure.”
My body thrums with white-hot desire as I gaze up at him. “I’m sure.”
He grins as I grip his hand with my fingernails and dig in, urging him on. “Sean, please.”
Finally, he slips that thick finger underneath my panties and groans when he finds me soaked. I go blind with need and feel my thighs shake as he resumes his ministrations with the same gentle assault. It’s not enough friction, and he knows exactly what he’s doing.
I grip his hair and pull it, and he smirks, his eyes lit with lust, his finger still teasing. It’s not enough, not nearly enough. I thrust my hips and groan in frustration, just before he starts to pull himself away.
I’m being punished for my impatience.
Bastard.
“I’ll stop. I’ll stop. Please don’t.” I give no fucks about begging. It’s been way too long since I’ve been touched, and never in the history of all my nows have I ever been so attracted to a man.
“Sean…” I whisper as he reads the desire in my eyes before he leans down kissing me deeply, so thoroughly, that emotion stirs within me. In seconds I’m drunk, my need raging out of control as I clutch him to me.
It’s too much.