I love you. I want to reply, but I type out something else entirely.
Lance: Did you get my gift?
Harper: Not yet.
Lance: Should be there tomorrow. Merry Christmas.
Harper: Merry Christmas. You know you didn’t have to. I can’t wait to see you in that robe.
Lance: I miss you.
Harper: I miss you too.
Lance: Come back to me.
Harper: It wasn’t you that I left. It’s opportunity that I’m chasing. Please understand.
Lance: I do. I’m trying to. It just sucks. It’s a cruel world without you in it.
Harper: I love you. Always. Make me proud, Lance. Keep fighting.
Lance: Give me a reason to.
I swallow, knowing I won’t be able to move on unless I ask.
Lance: Are you happy?
Harper: Not completely, no.
Lance: It’s me you’re missing.
Harper: Every single day.
Lance: Wait for me.
Harper: Neither of us can make those promises.
Lance: I can.
Harper: Please don’t.
Hurt flares up when I think of how easily she left me standing there with my chest slashed. Even if there were tears, I’ll never understand how she could just drive away. We meant more than that. At least to me.
Lance: I guess you’ve already chosen.
Harper: I love you.
Lance: Maybe I don’t believe you.
Harper: You don’t mean that.
Harper: Lance?
Harper: Lance, please talk to me.
Lance: Take care, Harper.
The next day I spend twenty minutes coming up with an apology only to send it and have it bounce back. She blocked me. Not out of spite, but to give us a clean break. She’s unwilling to commit to me, and I can’t have it any other way. I’ll go crazy seeking it from her, and she knows it. She knows this is the only way. She always told me her dreams would come before any man, I should have believed her. I just never thought she’d discard me for them so easily.