Thoughts of Troy’s celebration don’t sit well with me, but it’s pure ignorance to feel any sort of jealousy. First, I’m in a new relationship. Secondly, he’s been sleeping around since he came back into our lives, and that’s more of a turnoff than anything. That alone makes it impossible for me to believe he’s sincere about any sort of feelings he harbors toward me.
It’s not about you.
Pushing all those thoughts away, I dial Parker’s number. She answers on the second ring.
“Hey, you. I was just thinking about you.”
“What time is it there?”
“It’s noon.”
“Ah, good. I’m glad I didn’t wake you up.”
“I’m drunk.”
“What?”
“Yeah. I’m drunk.”
“What are you drinking?”
“Huangjiu, it’s like Sake but not Sake, and I just wrote another amazon review…this one is about a toilet cleaner brush.”
“What in the world?” I can’t help my laugh. Parker hates social media but uses product reviews to speak to strangers online about real-life issues. She claims it’s therapeutic.
“Would you like to hear it?”
“Of course.”
She ceremoniously clears her throat. “Here goes. Here I am in 2019 with four failed relationships, on the verge of thirty years old. I’m currently in one of the best cities in the world. It’s noon, I’m drunk and bitterly alone, so I’ve resorted to writing a review on a toilet brush. What can I say? It’s a great toilet brush. It cleans very well, getting all the marks left behind after drinking too much. The design of the brush is your typical looking brush with over 100,000 bristles and a handle large enough that you won’t be covered in toilet water that looks delicious to dogs but not humans. I thought it would be larger, kinda like I thought I’d be more successful in life than I am now. So now here I am, writing metaphors while listening to Radiohead about said toilet brush—that’s what I’ve got so far, what do you think?”
“I think you need to come home.”
“Don’t. I hear the worry in your voice, and I’m fine. Really. Just…”
Her voice trails off, and my eyes water.
“I’m just…lonely. I mean, I know I have you and that kid, but I want someone to spend my life with.”
“You’ll find him.”
“Yeah.” She doesn’t believe me, but I refuse to believe the opposite. Parker is far too special to walk through life alone.
“Are you still happy with your job?”
“Sure,” she says with a sigh. “I love it.”
“Then you’re exactly where you need to be. Just keep the faith.”
“Okay, pity party over. What are you and the munchkin up to?”
“We don’t have to change the subject.”
“Yes, we do. I’m sick of me.”
“I’ll never be.”
“Sake-to-me. What are you up to?”