“It sounds like their young. Just do it.”
“Fine.” I tap the meat of my palm on my hand.
“Now, do them both.”
“Why aren’t you making noises?” I argue into the void, wondering if the moon has completely fucking forgotten about Texas.
“I’m not making noise, genius, because if it comes in my direction, I won’t get a good shot off. Come on, Theo.”
“Fine, but this is ridiculous.”
“Stop whining.”
As I stand there, my senses heighten by my loss of sight as I take note of every noise. The distant snap of a branch sounds a few yards away as the damn owl announces its presence from above me. I’m positive I’ll hear that in future nightmares.
And then I hear it, a whisper of movement, a crunch in the distance. Something is approaching.
“Hear that?” Laney asks on an excited whisper.
I can hear it. It’s distinct. Something is definitely out here. Another rustle in the brush a few yards away has me on high alert. “Yeah, I hear it. How do you know it’s the bird?”
“Because the noise would scare most of the other animals. Keep clapping and clicking.” She whisper-shouts. “It’s working.”
Mortified, I brace myself clapping like I’m watching Tiger Woods at the fucking Masters, while I furiously click my tongue.
“Get ready with the flashlight!”
“I can’t clap and get the flashlight,” I sputter out.
“Right, I got it.” Her light goes up, and I’m temporarily blinded, unable to see anything in front of me.
“I think I see it,” she proclaims excitedly.
“I can’t see shit,” I clap frantically in a circle toward the sound of her voice.
I’m seconds from pissing myself when I hear, “Now, Theo, now!”
I pull my flashlight out of my pocket and scan the ground for birds, my whole-body pulsing with adrenaline.
“I don’t see it, Laney!” I shout, scanning the ground left and right. “Get the flashlight off of me!” I scream like a tween as I frantically search the ground and jump back when I hear a loud strangled yelp from mere feet away. Stopping the flashlight at her boots, I bring it up to see Laney…holding a basset hound along with her cell phone…which is pointed directly at me.
“Smile, Teddy! You’ve been sniped!”
All the adrenaline leaves me in a whoosh as she starts to howl with laughter.
I’m not amused. “You are the devil.”
“Max,” she says through choked laughter, “meet the world’s biggest jackass, Theo.”
I charge toward her as she backs up into the tree laughing hysterically.
When I’ve cornered her, I can’t help but flash the light over my shoulder, which only makes her laugh harder.
“Shut up, Laney. Did you hear that?”
“This is too good. Now you’re paranoid.”
“I’m not paranoid. I heard something.”