Except the only casualty of this war is me because neither of them was ever made abundantly clear on my side of things. I’m not taking the blame, but I have a part in it.
A few hours after our blow up, Theo pulls in the drive, and I smell the liquor on him before he looks up and sees me waiting. He averts his eyes and hangs his head.
“You need to go,” he says, staring at the keys in his hand.
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Fine. I’m ridiculous.”
“Don’t do this. You know how I feel about you.”
“Do I?” He snaps, his eyes meeting mine. He’s not drunk, but he’s still angry.
My throat tightens unbearably, and it spreads to my chest. His eyes are full of a cruelty I’ve never seen, never thought I’d see. Not from him.
“I didn’t fight it, not with you. Not a single minute. I let it happen.”
He scoffs. “Guess that makes me different, huh? It’s different with me, right?”
“You know it is.” Tears fill my eyes, and I blink them away. His expression doesn’t change. “I’m not her, I wouldn’t hurt you that way.”
“No, you definitely aren’t.”
The words are a lash whip against my chest.
“Please, just listen to me.”
“I saw the way he looked at you.” He pins me with an accusing stare. “But I felt the way you looked at him. I felt it. Tell me I imagined it.”
“You have to believe me, it meant nothing. I’m not going to deny he’s attractive, but he caught me by surprise, and when he did, I thought of how far I’ve come from wanting anyone like him, and I was happy about it. That’s what you saw. You have to believe me.”
“Maybe I would if you hadn’t looked at him like that.”
I’m shaking my head furiously. “I just told you why. It was you I was thinking about!”
His chest pumps with his sarcastic chuckle. “Right.”
Stunned by his wrath, I watch him start toward his porch. Helpless, I follow.
“You’re comparing butterflies to bee stings! He’s not the one I feel anything for!”
He turns on a dime and glares back at me. “What?”
I stride towards him, only stopping when the space between us is too close to ignore. “I said you’re
comparing butterflies to bee stings.”
“So, you admit you feel for him?”
“If that’s what you got out of that statement, it only proves you’re currently as ignorant as you are blind. It’s you that I want, and you damn well know it’s you.”
I can practically taste his lips, and I feel his inclination to move toward me. His shoulders stiffen, and he inches his chin back, breaking our connection. He might as well have slapped me.
“I’m your sentence finisher, Theo, and you are mine. Deny yourself, deny me, but you’ll be making a huge mistake. Maybe I gave you too much credit for being different. Because right now—you’re acting like a dumbass man.”
He flinches, but his gaze never warms. “Guess I am.”
“Yeah, well, jealousy looks like shit on you. You’re ruining everything!”