“Hold on, you little shit, at least let me dry you off.” I manage to get him partially toweled off and release him when I look up to see Theo covered in mud…and blood. I physically flinch at the sight of him.
“Oh my God!”
He raises butchered arms up, “I’m alright. Don’t you worry.” His hair is coated in mud, a blue headband sits lopsided above his brows like it got knocked down and he never bothered to fix it. His eyes are glassy, and his grin crooked.
“Are you drunk?”
He lifts his pointer and thumb close together. “Lil bit.”
“I’ve been texting you all day.”
“I’ve been doing guy stuff.”
“Guy stuff, huh?”
He flashes a proud grin. “I did Tuff Man.”
“What!” Covering my mouth with my hand, I can’t help my smile. “And you call me crazy.”
“About you.”
He saunters up to me in full drunken swagger. “I’ll have you know I did my worst, and it’s been well documented and publicly posted all for you. I’ve been a very good boy and have come to claim my reward.”
“Have you now?” I ask, shaking my head.
He bites a swollen lip, his eyes roaming me appreciatively before he bobs his head. “I guess a kiss will do.”
He leans in, and I step away.
“Mind if I scrub you off a little first?”
“What’s a matter?” He turns his head and lifts his chin, his hands fisted on his hips. “Can’t handle all this manliness?”
I laugh through my reply. “Too much for me, baby.”
He shrugs and holds out his arms with a sigh. “If you must.”
“Keys, phone?”
“Phone, inhaler, I got dropped off.” He says, handing me his phone and then puffing his inhaler before tossing it into the grass. Slipping the phone into my pocket, I survey the damage. His eyes are swollen to slits, there’s a cut above his right brow, and his chin is purpling.
“Stand back, Houseman, this is going to be cold.” I put my finger on the mouth of the hose to create a pressure spray and manage to get most of the mud off him. He’s got scratches everywhere as I gently wipe away most of the grime covering his lower half.
“What is with the
men in my life today? First Max decides to hump a sap-covered tree, and you show up looking half dead.”
“I got stung by a bee, too, I think,” Theo supplies in a slur. “That’s why my eyes are swollen.”
“Did that bee pin you down and kick the shit out of you too?”
He chuckles, but I see his wince.
“Yeah, well, tough man, Max decided to play commando today too, so you get the same treatment. Take off your shirt.”
It’s when I see twice as much mud caked on his torso that I realize my work is far from over.
“What in the hell made you think this was a good idea?”