“No way, no fucking way.” I shake my head. “He didn’t have to take, Mila. He didn’t. He was way too capable. Trust me. The truth is, I don’t know. I can’t tell you what I don’t know, beauty. I don’t have answers for them, for you, or for Amanda.”
“She’s falling apart. She’s leaving as soon as she can.”
“You talked to her?”
“Yeah, I called her,” she says, darting her eyes away, “yesterday.”
“Where is she going?”
“She didn’t say, but she’s done with LA.”
I nod. “She should be. This will follow her everywhere.”
Silence stretches a little while she studies me cautiously. I hate that I’ve put her so on edge, but I don’t know how to fake this.
“Before I forget, Mom wants to have dinner soon.”
“You should do that,” I say, passing on the invite. I can’t tolerate her mother for the moment. She’s always got my balls in a vice, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to play nice this round. Leaving my juice untouched, I stand. “I’ll be in my office.”
“Lucas, stop. Stop avoiding me.” She stands and walks over to me, placing her hands on my chest, her eyes imploring. “Where are you?”
I lean down and place a kiss on her perfect lips. Perfect wife, perfect life, but I’m totally fucking lost. “I’m here, Dame.”
Unable to handle the distress in her eyes, I make my way toward my office. I barely hear her admission as I turn the corner.
“I miss you.”
Even with the sting of her words, I leave her there unsatisfied. I haven’t touched her in the last few days, and it’s unnatural for us. I can’t get my days or my head right, and I’m not about to fake normalcy. It’s not a part I’m willing to play. I’m not supposed to lie to my wife. Good, bad, or ugly, that’s what we vowed. Even if it hurts her, I’ll do everything in my power to keep them because aside from Blake, she’s the only real thing I’ve ever had in my world of make-believe. When I get to my office my phone lights up with a text from my assistant.
Nova: Gabriela Parker will meet with you the first of next week.
She’s willing to give me answers as to why she keeps bringing Blake’s name up and I’m not sure I want to know them, but I don’t have much of a choice.
What the hell did you do, brother?
Set it up.
Mila
Cradling the phone to my ear, I glance into Lucas’s office. He’s focused on his script, a large stack of books he’s ordered for research sit next to him as he scans the pages. Since his meeting with Wes, he’s spent most of his time in his office and thrown himself into preparations. He’s consumed already, and it’s just a matter of time before he flips the switch and starts to isolate more and more. I quietly pad down the hall and close our bedroom door behind me.
“Mila, so good to hear from you.”
“Yanni, thank you so much for the gift. It was much too generous.”
“You’re most welcome. I was eager to get your attention,” he says with a hopeful rise to his voice. “I’m hoping we could have lunch at my Bistro, if you are interested.”
“I’m very interested, I told Lucas last night that I was wanting to take on a project closer to home.”
“This is good news. I’m so very happy to hear it. How about I email you the details and we can set up a date?”
“Sounds perfect, Yanni. Thank you for thinking of me. Talk soon.”
“Au revoir.”
Working with a Michelin star chef to open a world-class bistro comes close to a dream for me. Whatever his reasons are for using my services, I’m grateful. Yanni is a concept chef, and instead of a traditional menu, he uses poems or haikus. It’s all very deliberate and carefully crafted for an experience. For the first time in years, I feel like I’ll be a part of something productive. The text from Amanda comes through just as I’m stepping into the shower and I message her back telling her I’ll be there as soon as I’m dressed. Submerged under the flowing water, I dread the hours to come. I can’t imagine losing Lucas twice, once to divorce, and then to death and then having to sort through the remains of the life he lived without me. Rushing my shower, I step out to see my husband waiting by the counter with the towel.
“Hey, you,” I say, wringing out my hair before I take it from him. “I have to run out for a little while. I didn’t want to bother you.”