Shaking the thoughts off, Kaitlin bit into a piece of quiche and savoured the tart cheddar taste. ‘What about you? What sort of holidays did you go on as a child?’
For a moment she thought he wouldn’t answer; his blue eyes were looking past her towards the line of the horizon, as if he could see into the past. Then...
‘Big, noisy, fun ones. We’d take off to the beach for weeks. My stepdad and brother would barbecue up a storm and the rest of us kids would run riot.’
‘How many of you were there?’
‘Me, my brother and sister, and a whole bunch of cousins.’
‘That sounds amazing.’
‘It was a long time ago.’
His voice heavy with bleakness, and what she instinctively knew was a mix of nostalgia and regret, and without even thinking she reached out and touched his arm.
‘But you have the memories. We don’t have any cousins—it’s just the three of us, and Cora, Gabe and I weren’t that close as children—we aren’t a close family. It sounds like you were.’ She hesitated. ‘Maybe you still could be?’
Daniel shook his head. ‘It didn’t work out like that.’ The words were uttered with a finality that indicated the subject was closed. ‘Sounds like you’ve done better—you seem close to Gabe and Cora now.’
‘We’re closer than we used to be.’
He reached for a bottle of water, his gaze curious but without condemnation. ‘You aren’t close to your parents and yet you were happy to marry a man they chose for you?’
Kaitlin knew she should close the conversation down, but sitting out there, with the spring breeze wafting the scent of heather, surrounded by peace, she wanted him to understand. Perhaps she needed to explain it to herself.
‘It’s more complicated than that. I was born to the job of being Lady Kaitlin Derwent and the responsibilities that come with that. When I was little that meant posing for photo shoots in cute outfits or behaving at boring dinner parties.’
‘And now those obligations include marriage to a man of your parents’ choosing? That’s the high jump and the pole vault combined.’
‘Not if I loathed him—I wouldn’t let them force me into marriage then...of course I wouldn’t. But...’
But her parents had always made clear to her that it was her destiny to make a great alliance, to bring glory to the Derwent name. Once she had had other ideas, Deep inside herself she had been sure she was destined for other things, had vowed she would show her parents that she could bring glory to the Derwent name in a different way. Her options had seemed endless—she’d become a famous dancer, a Nobel prize-winning scientist, a brilliant pop singer...
With the kidnap all those aspirations had withered away.
‘But...?’ he prompted.
‘But the idea of a husband like Frederick didn’t seem like such a bad prospect. I would have done my best to be a good princess.’ Placing her plate on the tartan rug, she enumerated the points on her fingers. ‘I know how to garner positive publicity, I would be loyal, always look the part, always say the right thing.’ A surge of confidence bolstered her against the incredulity on Daniel’s face. ‘I would be in a position to do good—I could make significant contributions to causes I believe in.’
‘Stop.’ Daniel raised a hand, the frown on his face now deeper. ‘Everything you have said is about your role as Princess. What about your actual marriage? The nitty-gritty of real life?’
Of course she had considered that. ‘I would do my best to be a good wife. I’d—’
‘You’d pose nicely for the photographs? Look the part and always say the right thing?’
The sarcastic inflexion was harsh enough to make her flinch.
‘Yes. There’s nothing wrong with that.’
‘Everything is wrong with that. You propose to play a part for your whole life. What about the parts that aren’t acted out for the camera?’
Heat burned her cheeks and she focused on the baguette she held, crumbled it into a small mountain. ‘I would do my best in private as well. But I don’t think physical attraction matters.’
Daniel stared at her. ‘Doesn’t matter?’ he echoed, his expression dumbfounded.
‘There is a lot more to marriage than physical attraction.’
‘Granted—but I think it is a fairly vital component.’