Her green eyes narrowed and her fingers twitched in a clear desire to pick up her empty plate and hurl it at his head.
‘Well, I’m going in anyway.’
‘Then at least let me tell you what I have planned for the day. First I am going to spend at least ten minutes apologising for my behaviour the other night. Then I want to take you for a day in the Lycander countryside and a picnic lunch. You’ve worked yourself into the ground in the past week and you deserve a day of rest. If you really can’t stand to go with me I could ask Elvira to go with you—or Gloria, or anyone else you want.’
April stared at him for a long moment. ‘Let’s start with the apology and go from there.’
Reaching out, he covered her hand with his. ‘I’m truly sorry, April. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I don’t understand why you would give a baby up, because I truly believe you would make a wonderful mother. But I need to trust that you have your reasons—not try to make you feel bad about the decision. Because I do totally believe in your love for a baby.’
Tears sheened her green eyes. ‘Thank you.’ Her fingers tightened around his. ‘I owe you an apology as well. I overstepped. Your relationship with Louise and Bill is your business, and you’re right. You lived your whole childhood with them; I spent a few hours with them around a dinner table. That doesn’t give me the right to judge.’
It didn’t, and yet he hadn’t been able to forget her words—had wondered if perhaps he had got it all wrong. Could Louise and Bill have grown to love him? The idea didn’t seem possible—after all, if that were so wouldn’t they have told him?
‘Also, I realise now that for you the idea of me giving a baby up for adoption must be even more complicated than it would be for anyone else, and I am truly sorry for that.’
Marcus shook his head; he couldn’t let her beat herself up any further. ‘I appreciate that—and, yes. of course my circumstances play a part in my reaction. But I do believe in adoption in the right circumstances. In our case our birth parents died and we were very lucky to be taken in by Louise and Bill.’
‘Marcus, I am so sorry. It must have been devastating to lose your parents. I thought—’ She broke off, looking confused.
‘You thought I’d been taken away from my birth parents?’
It was fair enough—after all, he’d told her that he’d been an illiterate, foul-mouthed, unloveable street fighter at the time of his adoption.
‘I wasn’t—though maybe I should have been.’ It was another question he tussled with. ‘My birth parents were alcoholics, drug addicts, criminals. But—’
‘But they were still the only parents you had?’
‘Yes.’ And as such of course he’d loved them. For all the good it had done him.
With the benefit of hindsight, he understood that the path of addiction his parents had ended up on had distorted their ability to feel, to parent, to love. Their need for the next drink, the next hit, had outweighed anything else. But he also knew they had felt something for him, however insubstantial.
‘It was complex,’ he agreed now, as he pushed thoughts of the past away. He wanted today to be a happy day—to create good memories. ‘But we’ve been sidetracked. I don’t want today to be about the past, or the future. Let’s live in the moment.’
She hesitated, her green eyes wide as they rested on his face, and then she nodded, smiled a smile that lit her face. ‘It’s a plan.’
‘So...a picnic in the countryside?’
‘I think that sounds lovely. I’ll change into something more suitable for a picnic and then let’s go.’
Twenty minutes later she re-entered the kitchen, a tentative smile on her lips and a sliver of doubt in her eyes.
‘What do you think?’ she asked. ‘I literally grabbed it off a clothes stall a couple of days ago, because I knew I was running low on clean clothes and might not have time to do a wash.’
‘I think it’s beautiful. I think you’re beautiful.’
The words were out before he could stop them—because they were true. The simple sundress, a swirl of turquoise and sea-green, accentuated her slender curves and the length of her legs. But it was more than that; her features were relaxed, and her green eyes sparkled with a luminosity they had lacked for the past days.
‘Thank you.’ She smiled suddenly. ‘And please note my gracious acceptance of the compliment. Now, shall I rustle up a picnic?’
‘No need. I’ve done it. Well, I went to the supermarket and bought some stuff.’
To his considerable relief the very kind lady behind the deli counter had taken pity on him and put together a selection she had promised him would be perfect for a countryside picnic.
‘Let’s go. I’ve given Roberto the day off, so it’s just you and me.’
Just you and me.
The words seemed to echo in the air, reverberating with promise and anticipation, and Marcus threw caution to the wind and reached out for her hand. Hands clasped, they headed for the car.