‘Why not? There are people who get a huge amount of joy and happiness from the ukulele, or any other musical instrument, and people like me who have the musical ability and innate talent of a non-performing flea.’
‘You can’t compare the two.’ April frowned. ‘Musical skill is a talent, but the ability to love is universal.’
‘No. Some people find love comes easily to them. For others it is something that, however hard they practice, they simply can’t do. That’s why there are so many break-ups and the divorce rate is on the up. I’d rather accept my own limitations and be happy with them. Love is not for me.’
‘Why not?’ She still didn’t get it—and wasn’t sure she really bought his spiel.
‘Because I don’t have any innate ability for it. I’m not a romantic person—which is exactly why I am not on the market for a relationship. Never have been, never will be.’
‘Never?’
‘Nope. Feel free to check out my romantic history. My slate is clean.’
‘So in thirty years you’ve never been in love, never had a relationship, never been out with anyone?’
‘Well, it depends if you count Rita Gillam when I was fifteen—I went out with her for about three weeks and then she dumped me because I wasn’t “suitable boyfriend material”. By which she meant I didn’t spend my money on chocolates or roses and I preferred to spend most of my spare time poring over motorbike magazines. Then there was Laura Hollsworth—I think we lasted four weeks before she figured I didn’t come up to scratch. If memory serves me right, I wanted to go and see an action film and she wanted to see a girlie weepie. I suggested we toss a coin to decide and that was it—I was toast.
‘Since then there has been a similar theme—the general consensus is that I’m not a good long-term bet. And I think that’s fair enough. I love my job, I love my life, and I don’t have the time or inclination or anything to offer a woman except very short term physical gratification. My current arrangements work. Low-maintenance, mutual pleasure, no risk.’
‘No family?’
The words came with an effort and she knew they were infused with a bleakness she had not meant to transmit. They were a reminder of all her own one-time hopes and aspirations. Yet it was a question she had to ask—part of the interview process.
‘What about kids?’ she persisted.
For a moment an image of Edward crowded her brain, and she wondered how Marcus could willingly forgo the joy of having a child.
‘I’ve accepted that isn’t my path. I don’t want a relationship, and that means I can’t have children. It wouldn’t be fair on anyone—most importantly the child.’
His voice was matter-of-fact and yet she was convinced there was a strand of wistfulness in it, an elusive something she couldn’t put her finger on. Daft—she must be imagining it.
The oven beeped, and she definitely didn’t imagine the relief on Marcus’s face.
‘Excellent,’ he said as he sprang to his feet. ‘I’m looking forward to this.’
‘Really—don’t get your hopes up too high. I haven’t cooked in a while—cordon bleu it won’t be.’
A faint frown creased his brow again. ‘I’ll set the table.’
CHAPTER NINE
MARCUS WATCHED AS April busied herself serving the food. She had completely put him through the wringer with her attempts to extract information he’d rather not have divulged. He could see the quote now: All the real Marcus Alrikson can offer a woman is short-term physical gratification! Disastrous.
But right now that wasn’t what bothered him most; he felt a sense of injustice. Somehow April had gleaned a whole load of information about him, yet managed to vou
chsafe absolutely nothing about herself. Article or not, that didn’t seem fair.
‘So,’ he said. ‘What about you?’
‘What about me?’
‘I know you said you don’t want a family, but what’s your take on relationships?’
‘I don’t have a take—because I’m not interested in a relationship of any sort.’ She walked over to the table and placed the platter of food in the middle.
‘So you don’t date at all?’
‘Why is that such a surprise to a man who loathes dates?’