‘Yes, I do. He’d want you to get on with life. Your life. Right now you’re getting on with Axel’s life, fulfilling his vision. I think Ax
el would want you to fulfil your own.’
Frederick searched for words before guilt choked him. He needed Marcus to stop—he couldn’t listen to this any more.
‘The accident... Axel’s death was my fault. I should have been in that car. I was meant to go that state dinner. I passed it off to Axel.’
‘I know.’ Marcus’s voice was measured. ‘Axel was supposed to meet up with me that night. He told me you’d asked him to go because you had a party to go to. To celebrate a buy-out that no one thought you’d pull off.’
A buy-out he now wished he’d never tried for—if he could have pulled out any domino from the cause-and-effect chain he would. Most of all, though, he wished he hadn’t chosen a party over duty.
He watched as Marcus continued to stride the floor. ‘So why did you take this job with me? Why didn’t you tell me you knew the truth?’
‘I did what I believed Axel would have wanted. Axel was my best friend—we climbed trees as boys and we double-dated as young men. A few days before the accident he was trying to get up the courage to ask my sister on a date—he’d joke that he wished he had your charm. He cared about you very much, and he wouldn’t have wanted you to punish yourself for the rest of your life.’
Marcus halted in front of the desk and leant forward, his hands gripping the edge.
‘You didn’t know what would happen—you didn’t send Axel to his death.’
‘But if I had chosen not to party, not to do what I wanted to do, then Axel would be alive now.’
Marcus shrugged. ‘Maybe. But it didn’t pan out like that. You can’t turn the clock back, but you can make the most of your time now. I think you love Sunita, and if you do then you need to go for it—before you lose her. Axel’s death should show you how life can change in a heartbeat—don’t waste the life you’ve got. Axel wouldn’t want it. And, for what it’s worth, neither do I.’
Frederick stared at him. Emotions tumbled around him—poignant regret that Axel had never had the chance to ask Marcus’s sister on a date, grief over the loss of his brother, a loss he had never allowed himself time to mourn, and gratitude that Marcus had given him a form of redemption.
‘Thank you.’
There wasn’t anything else he could say right now. Later there would be time. Time to grab those beers and sit and talk about Axel, remember him and mourn him. But now...
‘Can I leave you at the helm? I need to go to Mumbai.’
‘Good luck.’
Frederick had the feeling he’d need it.
Mumbai
Sunita smiled at Nanni across the kitchen, listened to the comforting whirr of the overhead fan, the sizzle of malpua batter as it hit the heated pan. Ever since Nanni had first made these sweet dessert pancakes Sunita had loved them.
‘You don’t have to make me breakfast every morning, Nanni, but I do so appreciate it.’’
‘If I didn’t you would eat nothing. And you do not need to stay in with me every night. I am sure there are parties and social events.’
‘I’d rather be here.’
Totally true. She didn’t want to socialise; she was too tired. Sleep deprivation, combined with the effort it took to work when all she wanted was to be back in Lycander. Irony of ironies, she wanted to be in a place that had rejected her, with a man who had rejected her. What a fool she was. But she’d be damned if anyone would know it—she’d dug deep, pulled up every professional reserve and hopefully pulled the wool over Nanni’s eyes as well.
‘You aren’t happy.’
So much for the wool pulling endeavour.
Nanni put her plate in front of her; the scent of cardamom and pistachio drifted upward.
‘Of course I am. The job is going great, I’m back in Mumbai, Amil is here and I’m with my favourite grandmother.’
‘And yet you still aren’t happy. You can lie to me, Suni. But don’t lie to yourself.’
‘Sometimes you have to lie to yourself—if you do it for long enough the lie will become the truth.’