‘Of course you are.’
‘So I take it your mother’s family eventually relented and took her and you back in?’
‘No...’ Sunita sighed, feeling the familiar ache of regret and sadness. ‘I wish that was how it had played out, but it didn’t. They didn’t relent.’
Even when they knew her mother was dying.
Anger was suddenly added to the mix. Her grandfather hadn’t even told Nanni that their daughter was ill—hadn’t given her the chance to say goodbye.
‘I met Nanni for the first time when I was pregnant with Amil.’ She glanced across at him. ‘I don’t expect your sympathy, but when I found I was pregnant I felt very alone.’
His expression hardened slightly, but to her surprise she could see an element of frustrated sympathy in his creased brow. ‘So you decided to find your mother’s relatives?’
‘Yes. My mother had left enough information that it wasn’t too hard. It turned out my grandfather had died two years before, and Nanni agreed to see me.’
That first meeting was one she would never forget—her grandmother had simply stared at her, tears seeping from her brown eyes, her hands clasped as if in prayer. And then she had stepped forward and hugged Sunita, before standing back and touching her face as if in wonder, no doubt seeing not just her granddaughter but her daughter as well.
‘She was overjoyed and so was I. She has never forgiven herself for not standing up to my grandfather, for letting my mother go, and I think she sees me and Amil as her second chance.’
‘It isn’t always easy to stand up to a partner if he or she has all the power. Your Nanni shouldn’t be too hard on herself.’
‘I’ve told her that. My mother didn’t blame her either. Nanni was totally dependent on her husband—money, clothes, food, everything—and he made sure she knew it. If she had left with my mother he would have cut her off from the rest of her family, her children...everyone.’ She paused and then turned to him, willing him to understand. ‘I won’t ever let myself get into that position.’
‘You won’t. Our marriage will be nothing like that.’
‘I understand that, but I did mean what I said yesterday—I intend to resume my career. You saw what happened to your mother, your stepmothers. I’ve seen what happened to Nanni—I will not be dependent on you.’
‘You won’t be. We can set up a pre-nup.’
‘In a principality where your word is law? Any pre-nup I sign wouldn’t be worth the paper it was written on.’
‘OK. You will be paid a salary that goes directly into your personal account—you can move that into another account anywhere in the world.’
‘A salary essentially paid by you—one you could stop at any moment?’
His lips thinned. ‘You really do not trust me at all, do you?’
There was a hint of hurt in his voice, but it was something she could not afford to listen to.
‘I can’t trust anyone. Think about it, Frederick. What if I decided to take Amil and leave? Would you still pay my salary? What if you turn out to be like your father? What if you fall in love with another woman?’ Life had taught her there could never be too many ‘what ifs’ in the mix. ‘Then I’ll need money of my own.’
The easy warmth in his hazel eyes vanished, and now his brow was as clouded as a monsoon sky. ‘None of those things will happen.’
‘That’s what you say now, but times change—we both know that.’
A shadow flickered across his face and she knew her point had gone home.
‘So I must make sure myself that I have enough money in the bank for whatever life throws at me.’
To ensure there was always an escape route—that she would never be trapped like her grandmother had been, as she had been as a child.
‘That is non-negotiable.’
‘Understood.’
‘Also, I want to leave Amil with my grandmother when we go back to Lycander.’
‘Why?’ The syllable was taut. ‘Because you think I will snatch him the minute we land on Lycander soil?’